Methods of Perception
by HM Grayson
Summary: Seth always thought Edward and Jacob were the most awesomest people ever, until one day he realized that the little girl they both agreed was the super specialist girl ever was awesomer still...and not so little. SxN. Adult content.
1. Smell

Disclaimer: I don't own _Twilight; _this story was inspired by someone pointing out I write Seth and Nessie as an innocent couple, even though I always pictured them as secretly rather kinky. So expect the language to get progressively more adult.

* * *

He thought she looked like Edward.

When Seth thought about his Alpha's imprint at all, usually when Jake made them go to her birthday once every few months because having vampires and werewolves party together managed to annoy both Leah and the Cullens and Sam all at the same time, the only thought he had was that Nessie looked like her father.

Not that he thought about Nessie a lot, which might be why his thoughts about her were so simple. Why should Seth think about Nessie? Jacob thought about her enough for all the werewolves and, really, she was just a kid. Edward's little girl. She was the kid he smiled at and amused as best he could while he waited for Edward to get ready for wherever they were going. It was a little harder to make her smile than most people but not impossible so he didn't dwell on her long.

It was mostly the hair, red-brown, a distinctive bronze that was hard to miss. Jake said Nessie had Bella's eyes, but Seth didn't know what color eyes Nessie had and wouldn't have been able to remember what color Bella's eyes had been years before under torture.

But it wasn't just the hair. It was something in her face, a strange sort of Edward shadow. Seth's brothers took great delight in calling Edward's refinement girly and while Seth knew his brothers were idiots there _was_ something sort of...delicate about Edward. It made Nessie a cute kid, if slightly on the scrawny side.

That was the full extent that he thought about her until he came back from school.

The Cullens paid for it—bribing his mother in the only way that would have worked. She never spoke a word against the Cold Ones after the fact and he got to spend four great years in Seattle. He wasn't smart, not like the Cullens or even some of his brothers, but Seth knew how to work hard and he was lucky enough to have really smart friends who were generous enough to help him out so he made it through all right.

He came home when the pack needed him, but he was so busy he rarely saw much of the Cullens who weren't Edward. After four years it was good to be back in La Push for good, good to actually spend time with his friends and family instead of rushing off to kill things. When Leah organized a party on the beach to celebrate his return he was happy for the excuse to spend time with everyone again.

Everyone came up to greet him with joyous shouts that didn't hide the fact that werewolf punches still hurt. Grinning, Seth hit back, glad to be home once more. He stupidly thought being home meant life would be simple.

When Jacob came to say hello Seth opened his mouth to wonder how Jake managed to kidnap a Sports Illustrated model when the hair tipped him off.

Oh.

She didn't look like Edward anymore.

Or maybe she still did and he was just too distracted by the un-Edward parts of her to notice. Despite what most of the pack liked to say, Seth couldn't remember thinking _that_ way about Edward.

Nessie came over and hugged him; Seth instinctively looked at Jacob. Oh yeah. Despite being all of six Nessie looked well over eighteen and judging by the tired way Jacob was scowling at every guy on the beach she had looked that way for a while—and Seth wasn't the first to have noticed.

Not that it was a huge deal, having eyes. So what if she was insanely hot? All the vampires were good-looking and he was friends with them without any difficulty.

There were just two small problems.

The first was that Fate was out to get him. His sister might claim otherwise, but Fate didn't just hate Leah Clearwater. Anyone with the name Clearwater was fair game. Not only was Seth a werewolf with a dead father, but he regularly got to see his sister naked and hear thoughts by and about her that he would have gladly cut off most body parts to avoid hearing. Fate hated Seth.

It was Fate's fault he found himself alone with Edward's daughter at a wide variety of events all summer, left alone with her for hours at a time because the rest of the werewolves still called her half-dead when they thought she couldn't hear. All except for Jacob, who was always busy with something around La Push and would be as long for as the Elders could manage. They wouldn't have succeeded half so well if Jacob could have avoided pissing off Leah in an increasingly convoluted number of ways, but their Alpha couldn't seem to stop so Leah was on the Elders' side and Jake couldn't fight against both of them.

But it wouldn't have been a huge deal being around Jacob's imprint all summer except for problem two.

Nessie? She was sort of all kinds of awesome.

Even when she wasn't wearing that beautiful black string bikini she was gorgeous. But worse than that she was smart, like a mini-Einstein without the bad hair. She was funny in a sweet and vaguely sarcastic way. She was a little over-eager to try everything and even more over-eager to fix everything; it was so rare to find someone who was willing to look ridiculous as long as something got better that it was no wonder he was enchanted. Besides, she had a way of speaking that captured his attention completely and a smile that prevented him from thinking properly.

He figured out she had brown eyes, then couldn't stop trying to catch them. When he started seeing them every time he closed his eyes Seth knew he was in trouble.

It probably wasn't the best idea to keep hanging around her, but for the life of him Seth couldn't figure out a reason for stopping that wouldn't have gotten him immediately killed. So he just kept hanging out with Nessie and her quiet enthusiasm for everything and her crazy, idealistic schemes to make the world a better place and no one said anything at all—except for Embry, who just kept making the same old tired Edward jokes he had been making since the fight with Victoria.

Seth sometimes wished it was Edward he couldn't stop thinking about. Somehow, it would have been a lot easier—or at least a lot safer.

When the snow started to fall he went over to say hello to Edward (at least, that's what he told Quil when he asked) and found her home alone. She had come home for the weekend, but while her family had gone skiing over in Whistler she hadn't wanted to miss the election results. Her hair was hanging in long waves, but she tucked it behind her ear and invited him inside. Seth felt like he was supposed to say no, but looking at her standing in the doorway in sweatpants and a t-shirt that still made his mouth go dry he couldn't for the life of him recall why.

Crossing the threshold made his heart hammer just a little or maybe it was the way she kept glancing up at him through thick lashes or the way her hips swayed ever so gently as she lead the way to the couch.

Politics weren't really his thing, but she lit up when he asked her to explain it so it was worth it. Plus, it was kind of neat hearing about all these people and the way they could change his life. She got him so into it he started cheering each time the different results came in.

They got popcorn and he insisted on digging out the flags that Emmett had from some game or another and they sat in front of the television and somehow it was even more exciting than every sports game he had ever seen. Maybe because she seemed to be creeping closer to him and when the final count came in—the result she expected, naturally—she threw her arms around his neck.

Though she was half on his lap she didn't move away so he let himself brush the side of her hip and finger her thick hair. He could almost hear Leah lecturing him, but he couldn't have said why because he wasn't doing anything wrong even if she was Jacob's girl and had been since the day she was born the daughter of one of Seth's favorite people.

Hey, maybe Jake and Edward would get along when they both decided to come after him. That would be pretty awesome.

He tried not to be too disappointed that she crawled away from him. It helped that she gave him a shy sort of smile that made it hard to breathe. Then she spoke and it really helped.

"Do you—could you stay and watch a movie or something? I don't really want to be all by myself."

"Sure. You guys have _Bad Moon?_"

Of course they did. The Cullens were always prepared like that.

The movie turned out to be the worst and best idea ever. Nessie grew up surrounded by vampires. That she wouldn't like horror movies had never crossed Seth's mind. She spent most of the movie trembling under a blanket, curled right against him. As much as he liked having her close he would have turned the movie right off—except every time he tried to get up her fingers gripped his arm so tightly he couldn't move.

"We can't stop now," she protested.

"You don't even like it."

"So?"

"I've seen this a hundred times; I don't care if we finish it. Besides, you're cutting off the circulation in my arm so I'd rather we stop while I can still feel it."

"Wait," she cried, keeping him on the couch. "I already won't be able to sleep. I need to know how it ends now. And since you've seen it, you can tell me when not to look."

"Nessie..."

"Please, Seth? I need to know."

He sighed but gave in. Not because she smiled in gratitude and rested her cheek against his shoulder, but because he was pretty sure she would watch the rest of it without him and then never sleep again if she didn't get her way. While his brothers had a tendency to exaggerate he couldn't help believing them that Nessie had been a tiny bit spoiled her whole life.

At least she exhaled properly when the movie was over.

"Please don't leave," she all but begged. "I—I can't stay here all alone tonight after that."

"Of course." Her brown eyes were huge in her white face and her voice shook. Her request was innocent even if Seth was pretty sure his intentions weren't. Now if only he could think of something that would calm her down. "You wanna play board games or something?"

Leah was never going to let him live that one down. But being a dork seemed to work for him because she nodded slowly even if she was looking at him like he was a little slow.

"Okay. There's a bunch in closet. You pick one. I'm just going to go put on pajamas, okay?"

If Seth had believed in Edward's hell he would have started worrying about his immortal soul. As it was he started worrying about his mortal life because when he nodded he knew Edward was going to kill him when he got back.

Still would have been worth it.

Her pyjama shorts were ridiculously sexy (thank you, Alice) and the tank she was wearing was so low cut it was no wonder she destroyed him at Monopoly. Well, she would have beaten him anyway, because Nessie was a real estate mogul in the making, but while he was never very good at concentrating he was doing poorly even by his own standards.

"So that's how many thousand you owe me?" she asked, still calculating the interest. Maybe he would have cared she was trouncing him—probably not—but the grin on her face made losing the best thing he had done all night. And he was kind of distracted by the way she kept putting the pencil in her mouth.

"I can't count that high."

"Don't give up, Seth."

"I won't. Don't worry; you'll have the satisfaction of completely ruining me soon enough."

"You could still win."

"No...I'm pretty sure I can't. Not unless you let me pay off my mountain of debt some other way."

"I'm open to suggestions," she said. Her voice was so low he almost couldn't hear her—that's why he had to lean closer, just to hear her. And if he was getting lost in her eyes that was because... they were the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.

"What do you want?" he asked.

Her cheeks were pink, suddenly, as she dropped her gaze. What exactly what he doing? She was still his friend and he shouldn't be making her uncomfortable even if she had invaded his brain.

"Hey, you want me to make you the best three o'clock in the morning omelet you've ever had in your life?"

"What?" But she was giggling, comfortable again.

"Seriously. I make kickass early morning omelets. You can ask any of the guys. There's nothing better after a late patrol."

"Um...okay. As long as I don't have to do anything."

"Oh, three AM omelets are communal efforts. You have to help."

He pulled her to her feet (and he was not looking at her ridiculously thin shirt, he wasn't) and then headed to the kitchen where he finally realized he probably should let go of her hand.

"Okay. You turn on some music and I will raid your fridge."

"Sounds like a plan."

The Cullen kitchen was huge, but he knew his way around well enough. Esme always made sure to make the werewolves something when they came over and his mother never would have forgiven him if he hadn't offered to help Mrs Cullen sometimes. Considering she couldn't eat she was a pretty awesome cook. And great at keeping the fridge stocked with a wide assortment of food.

After putting on something classical that he never would have been able to identify, Nessie dutifully accepted the knife he handed to her and began chopping. "Are you really going to put all this stuff in?"

"Yeah." Her mouth opened, but nothing really came out. "What?"

"Are you going to make me eat all this?"

"Half. You'll love it."

"I don't think I can name all these vegetables, let alone eat them at the same time."

"Are you mocking the omelet?"

"No." The pink returned to her cheeks, but her smile was mischievous. "Maybe a little."

"Ouch. Just for that, I might not share."

"Oh no. Anything but that."

"Now you're getting sarcastic on me? You're just asking for trouble."

"I know." And he was pretty sure he was having trouble breathing because she was standing beside him, her beautiful hair brushing against his arm. "So what are you doing while I chop up every vegetable and lunchmeat known to mankind?"

"I beat the eggs together with _just_ the right touch of milk."

"Don't use the whole dozen," she instructed. "We can make breakfast, too. Or, you could. And I'll watch."

"Slave labor, huh?"

"Indentured servitude," she corrected. "You're working off your debt, remember?"

And he was going to burn his omelet (and maybe the whole house down) if she didn't stop touching his arm like that and smiling up at him like she knew...everything.

"Sure."

With her help, he managed a decent enough omelet. Nessie even agreed to consider letting him out of his life of servitude after she had a bite—she expected it to be disgusting, but she willingly ate as much as she could and even changed her mind about liking it. She was so open to everything. She was even the one who suggested they try to make pancakes.

"I need a recipe," he cautioned her. "Leah usually does them."

"Esme has one around here somewhere. If you think you can handle it."

Somewhere after four he had started thinking she was flirting with him; he really should have gone to bed, but he wasn't going to leave, not when she kept smiling like that. All he did was stand up to prepare for battle.

"Bring on the pancakes."

She got out the recipe and helped him get out the ingredients, but pulled herself up on the counter when it came to mixing them together.

"Don't you want to help?" he asked, already knowing the answer was no. She hated doing anything less that perfectly.

"Chopping was the extent of my culinary skills. Mixing is all on you. I can read off the recipe for you?"

"Fine," he shrugged. He was pretty sure she was reading it backwards—Leah always started with the flour and ended with the wet ingredients—but he followed her instructions. As best he could with her leg on the counter beside him, anyways.

It was because he was trying not to touch her smooth skin that he wasn't really watching the flour as it came out of the bag. The cloud of flour dust that enveloped him reminded him why you weren't supposed to cook while distracted.

"Was that supposed to happen?" she asked, giggling like she didn't mind getting half covered in flour.

"All part of my master plan," he assured her. Then, just because he could, he put his hands in the bowl and tossed some of the mixture on her. Her shriek was totally worth it.

"Not funny," she assured him, grabbing his wrist, pulling him to her. "Not funny at all."

"You look good all dusty," he told her. He wasn't lying. Even with the flour all over her she looked incredible. Especially the way she was laughing and trying to pretend she wasn't, her eyes sparkling.

"Let's see how you look covered in egg."

He froze, suddenly aware of the egg she held above his head, silently threatening to crack it on top of him. The pause made him aware of a few other things, all of a sudden, like how he was standing in between her legs and how she was holding his wrist so that his hand was resting on her bare leg. She was as soft as she looked. He was also suddenly aware of how quiet it had gotten and the way he was just staring at her. And the way she was just staring at him.

The smile was gone from her face, replaced by a look he didn't really understand. All he knew was that he probably couldn't have moved even if he wanted to. Which he didn't. At all. Ever.

"Seth?"

"Yeah?"

Somehow he drifted closer to her. Her hand released his wrist, her fingers gently running over his arm. Once free, his hand settled around her waist of its own accord. And he was still staring at her, his heart hammering, their faces so close he could feel her breath on his face.

"Kiss me?"

"Yeah."

Maybe he could have pretended he was just being a good friend, doing what she asked, but it would have been a waste of breath to lie like that. He wasn't kissing her like she was a friend, or Edward's daughter, or Jacob's girl, just like she was Nessie and amazing and incredible and the sexiest woman he had ever met.

Everything in the world seemed to have gone quiet (which was quite a feat when you had werewolf hearing) except for the sound of her heart and their uneven breathing. Her lips were soft against his, her body trembling in his arms, but all he could think about was how warm she was. He had never felt anyone so warm before and it was kind of addictive.

But then, that shouldn't have been a surprise because everything about Nessie was addictive, from the quiet way she giggled to the way she had to explain everything (sometimes with flashcards!) to the way she insisted on living up to everyone's impossible expectations. Seth mentally added the way she kissed to his list of things that Nessie was amazing at before he moved on to more important matters.

She gasped a little, when he deepened the kiss, but she recovered quickly, responding with her customary enthusiasm. The heat of her was spreading through him, like a warm bath he could have stayed in forever. Even the tight grip she had on his arm loosened; the longer he kissed her the more she relaxed. But no sooner had he thought things couldn't get better than they were at that moment then she pushed her body closer and then all he could think about was how badly he needed her legs around him. Now.

Then he felt something sticky and wet against the back of his head.

"Oh my god," Nessie whispered as he pulled away to figure out what the hell had happened. "I am so sorry. I didn't—oh my god."

"I have egg running down my back?" he guessed.

"I forgot I was holding it." He wasn't sure if she was about to cry or about to burst out laughing—probably both. There was really only one thing to do in this sort of situation. Well, besides throwing eggs back at her, because she was too adorable to throw things at.

He started laughing.

"Stop it," she chided, cheeks flaming red. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"Nessie, you can dump as many eggs on me as you want as long as I get to kiss you after."

She considered that for a moment. "Well, we do have four more left."

Then they were both laughing together though she couldn't stop looking embarrassed. When he could finally look at her without cracking up (after he dried up the tears that had started to come) she came up with a plan.

"Stay," she ordered, crawling along the counter to the sink. He did as she said—he wasn't going to complain about the view. Those shorts were wonderfully short. Washing her hands quickly, she wet a cloth then turned her head to glance back at him; there was such a look of knowing in her eyes that for the first time all night Seth wondered exactly how much she had planned ahead of time.

Everything, probably, knowing her. Not that he was complaining.

"Take off your shirt and turn around," she instructed so he did. The shirt would have to be washed, no question, so he dumped it on one of the chairs. Then he went and leaned his back against the counter. Her knees were on either side of his waist—and how could she have hot knees? It shouldn't have been possible—as she wiped the yolk off his back. "You should probably take a shower or something. It's sort of stuck in your hair."

"It's fine." He was not taking a shower in the Cullen house when she was the only one around. He might have been a werewolf, but he was still only human. Not that she cared about how she was torturing him. She couldn't help the way she smelt—like apple lollipops and _her_—but she was running gentle hands over his back like she didn't think he would notice even though it was all he could think about. Then she kissed him ever-so-lightly on the shoulder blade.

"I did the best I could. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing," he said as he turned around. There were still traces of flour in her hair, but she was still painfully beautiful. "I don't care, okay?"

Not that he gave her time to answer because it was just too tempting having her sitting so close, her pink mouth looking so kissable even as she tried to apologize one more time.

This time she had both hands free and seemed quite eager to make use of them. Somehow she was getting them closer than he had thought possible, her soft body pressed against him. One of his hands was trapped in her hair—he never wanted to stop touching her hair—but the other followed her lead, not staying around her neck or waist where it probably should have, but traveling to those perfect shorts. He stopped having to bend down as much, because she rose off the counter when he grabbed her, mouth crashing upwards, making the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

But when she pushed against his chest, ever so gently, he backed off, opening his mouth to apologize. He hadn't meant to get that caught up in her, though she didn't let him explain, the smirk on her face stopping all his thoughts. Possibly permanently.

Looking up at him through her lashes, she slipped off the counter, pressing herself against him, her hands running down his chest. What was he choking on? His mouth was a desert and he was pretty sure he had stopped breathing, so how could he possibly be choking? It was one of life's great unsolvable mysteries.

"Coming?" she beckoned, tugging on his arm.

"You don't want your pancakes?"

And the award for stupidest comment ever...

Nessie didn't seem to mind since she just kept smiling up at him. "Not really."

"Okay then."

Staring at her as she walked ahead almost caused him to walk into the wall at some point, but he survived, even if he just fell on the couch instead of sitting elegantly. None of that mattered since Nessie was quick to straddle him and her ridiculously thin tank top was not hiding anything at all.

She crashed their mouths together again while he slid his hands just under her shirt, to the small of her back, to the curve of her waist, to her smooth stomach. If the rest of her was this soft...well, he was already pretty screwed, actually, but this cinched it.

As distracted as getting to touch her was, he also managed to enjoy how the sounds she was making—she was trying to say his name, but she couldn't manage the whole thing—were the most perfect thing ever. Then he had to take it back because her hands went to the hem of her shirt and suddenly it was on the floor and she was bare from the waist up and his brain just kind of gave up.

Possibly he died. He was a little hazy on the details.

If it had been completely up to him he would have just stared at her for a long while, because she was absolutely perfect, but her mouth was on his, kissing him deeply, whimpering into him when his hands took the opportunity to further their exploration of her.

But when he nuzzled her collar bone on his way down, he felt her freeze in his arms for half a second. It was so quick a human wouldn't have been able to see, but he was so in tune with her body just then she might as well have slapped him. Damn.

"You need to tell me when to stop," he whispered against her skin. Because curiosity wasn't enough, anymore.

She pulled away, just a bit, so their noses were still touching, so that maybe they could have coherent thoughts. There was the tiniest hint of frown on her forehead even if he was more interested in watching the way her chest rose and fell as she struggled for air.

"Do you want to stop?"

He tried not to laugh, he really did, then hurried to fix the hurt in her eyes by telling the truth. The truth usually worked for him.

"I just don't want us to do anything you're not going happy with later. Even if you do smell...I don't even know. Just...amazing."

She went bright red. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"I don't want you to stop," she admitted, her eyes pleading. She really was the most adorable thing. "But I...I don't...what are we doing?"

"We should talk about this." Duh—he probably should have said that about thirty minutes ago.

Nessie seemed to have come to the same conclusion because the blood was draining from her face. "Okay. Could—please start?"

"Sure. Just get off my lap first?"

"Why?" she asked. While the look on her face was passably innocent, the way she tightened her thighs around him was anything but—she knew what he was talking about, clearly.

"I thought you wanted to talk."

"I do."

"If you want me to say anything that isn't about how incredibly hot you are, you're going to have to not be on my lap."

"Fine," she pouted, crawling off him, not bothering to care about how dangerously high her shorts had ridden up. She grabbed her shirt while she went, but didn't put it back on he was selfishly glad to see. Instead, she wrapped it around her before facing him on the couch, arms crossed over her makeshift covering, lower lip out. "This okay?"

"You're such a brat."

She was too cute not to laugh at.

"Shut up." Slowly the smile faded from her face.

He took this as his cue to start talking.

"I didn't expect anything like this to happen. I'm not sorry it did—probably one of the cooler things that has ever happened to me, actually. But I didn't come here for this. Though it's not...I like you, Nessie. And I want us to be...well, us, I guess. Did that make any sense?"

"You like me?"

"I really like you."

"Thank you." Her cheeks were a little pink. "I was hoping you did. Well, I knew you didn't mind spending time with me, but I was hoping it wasn't just because of my dad."

Shit. "I forgot about Edward."

"Lucky you. Daddy won't like this."

But Seth's brain was working again. Despite the pack's opinion, he had always known Edward was awesome. There was one thing, however, his brothers were right about when it came to Edward Cullen—whipped didn't begin to cover how he would do absolutely anything for the women in his life. Edward was the sort of guy who wouldn't kill you for thinking his daughter was wonderful even if he would sigh melodramatically and close his eyes. Edward might rant and rave, but one smile on his daughter's face and he would quickly change his mind.

"You happy about it?"

"Of course."

"Then Edward will get over it."

"I don't want to ruin anything between—"

"You won't. Your Dad's really cool, Nessie. He'll be okay."

Seth was pretty sure he was telling the truth. Edward wouldn't kill him.

"What about Jake?"

She sighed, hitting the pillow beside her. "What about Jacob?"

"You're kind of his whole world. And...if he asks me stay away from you, I'm going to listen." He wasn't going to lie to her because wonderful as she was Jacob was his friend. He couldn't hurt his friend. "If he thinks this is some kind of betrayal then I have to stop."

"I know. He won't ask though. Not when I ask him not to. He always does what I say." She sighed. "Not matter what he does what I tell him. I can't imagine this would be any different. He might even be grateful. This way he won't have to pretend he isn't staring at my mother when he thinks no one's looking."

"It's not like that," Seth had to say. Loyalty to his Alpha was far too ingrained. "He cares about you."

"I know. But you do, too, don't you?"

She looked so scared, so hopeful and vulnerable that he had to lean towards her.

"Yeah, I do."

"Good." She bit her lip and pressed closer, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I do, too. I mean, I like you, too. Not that I like me. Though I like me, too."

"I got it," he assured her.

"Really? Because I'm not sure it would be possible for me to be less coherent."

He kissed her again, laughing at her expression.

"What?"

"I like you. And I really like it when you whip out those three syllable words."

"Really? Because I know an infinite number." Seth pressed kisses along her jaw as she murmured, "Prodigious. Ecstatic. Perfection. Phenomen—oops."

The syllables ended up trapped when their lips met yet again. And somehow he ended up on top of her and she was so soft and warm underneath him. Edward, he tried to remind himself, as they pulled her shirt out of the way again so the only thing covering her were those ridiculously small shorts. Jacob, he tried to recall as her legs wrapped around his waist and the smell of her was absolutely everywhere. Nessie, he thought as she kissed him deeply. Nessie.

"They'll be able to tell, won't they?" she whispered, her hands stilling. "They'll be able to smell...us. If we—or we—and especially if you—?"

And the part of Seth that needed her to keep touching him ever so gently really hated the words coming out of her mouth. Unfortunately, he had to agree: "Yeah. They'll be able to tell."

"Then we can't before we tell them," she announced. Her face shifted, worry creeping in. "I don't want you to get hurt."

Since that was inevitable (all pack interactions required some level of violence) he just sighed. And kissed her. At least he got to keep kissing her. That was nice. And the worry on her face was nice, too, even if he told her she didn't have to be concerned.

Then she looked up at him through her long lashes, whispering, "Even though you can't...otherwise they'll all know, you could...help me. That way they'll only really smell me."

"I am not getting you off before I have to face your father. Who can read minds."

"Don't you want him to think you can take good care of me?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled his neck.

He burst out laughing, shifting so he was leaning on his side on the couch and not on her. It helped him think, a little.

"I would be fine if Edward _never_ had that conversation with me. We're just going to have to suffer together."

"So you're just going to leave me like this?" She even managed some crocodile tears. Not that he was watching her face so much as her hips grinding away at the air. It was tempting—all he had to do was reach over and—

Edward and Jacob would actually decapitate him. They would give their permission reluctantly, on the best of days (why did he need their permission? Too bad she wouldn't like it if they didn't have it). If he asked them after having already gotten to touch her they would kill him. Happily.

"Yes," he groaned. "Now stop squirming."

"But I don't want to."

"Fine. I hope you like dating a corpse."

She stuck out her tongue; he stuck out his back. Then she curled against him and he noticed for the first time how much smaller she really was. She was so perfect. He couldn't help stroking her face and he definitely couldn't help the way he felt about her.

"I don't like you very much right now," she muttered against his chest, clinging to him tightly. Then she smiled and he understood why the whole world was basically willing to die for her. He told her so and she laughed and blushed and asked what they were supposed to do now. There weren't that many options, but there were still some good ones left.

When he got her talking, the conversation was totally amazing because they were talking about everything and everyone that popped into her head and she really did have a big head because she was pretty much talking about everything, ever. He couldn't believe it, especially when she still acted interested in what he had to say even though she knew everything.

"Don't be silly," she chided him, kissing him gently. "No one can know everything."

"But you're going to try, aren't you?"

He was half-asleep (and finally a bit more relaxed), but it was nice having her tucked against him. The most comfortable place he'd ever been in.

"Yes. It doesn't hurt to try."

He laughed quietly and she just watched him, her brown eyes so warm he couldn't stop smiling. Thank god he hadn't had a reason to leave La Push. Maybe reading minds was inheritable, because she seemed to understand. Her lips were on his again, telling him how glad she was that he was here.

"What was that?"

"What?" she asked, eyes wide, following him as he sat up. "I don't hear—"

"Jacob's coming up the porch."

Seth would know his footsteps anywhere.

Why would Jacob be here this early?

"Your shirt," she whispered.

That was nothing. The real problem was, "He's going to smell you."

"Stall," she mouthed (not daring to say the word out loud) before grabbing her shirt and disappearing from the room. It helped, a bit. Since he was kind of hooked on the scent of her he could still pick it up, but it wouldn't be that noticeable. Until Jacob insisted on seeing her at which point it would be obvious. Not that he didn't smell a bit like her, but hopefully Jacob wouldn't be expecting it and so wouldn't notice. Or he would do what the pack always did and suggest Seth was hanging around Edward too much.

Then he went to open the door to Jacob's persistent knocking.

"Hey."

"Hey," Jacob replied. He looked a little surprised, but shirtless werewolves around the Cullen house weren't that out of the ordinary. "What are you doing here?"

"Did you know she doesn't like horror movies?"

"Yes." Of course. Jacob knew everything about her. "I can't believe they didn't stop you."

"She said she wanted to watch it." Seth finally caught a glimpse of a clock. How did it get to be nine o'clock in the morning?

"She does weird things like that. But the rest of them know better."

"They went skiing."

Jacob's eyebrows shot up, but he didn't say anything. "Where is she?"

"Don't know," Seth admitted. At least that was the complete and honest truth. "I...I'm really tired. The couch looks more comfortable than it is."

"Since when is there a place you can't sleep?"

While Seth was pretty sure he was never going to be able to sleep anyplace that had a half-naked Nessie present, he didn't actually share that information with Jacob. Somehow, he didn't think it would go over well at nine in the morning.

"I was just too keyed up last night, I guess."

"What did you watch?"

"_Bad Moon."_

Jacob winced. "No wonder you couldn't sleep. Nessie must have been in hysterics. I hope you got her to bed okay."

As fun as that sounded...

"She found other ways to cope."

"She's pretty resourceful," Jacob said proudly as Seth worked desperately not to laugh. Jacob's next comment made it pretty easy to stop.

"Do you smell that?"

Shit. But not for the reason he expected. "That's smoke. Kitchen?"

Jacob was already off running. Seth tore after him, a little slower than he normally would have. He wasn't sure what he would find in the kitchen and he wasn't exactly eager to find out what Nessie had cooked up.

But apparently it was pancakes.

"Jacob?" Her smile lit up the room, even as she continued fanning the smoke away from her. Somehow, she had managed to make her shorts longer and to grab a sweater Jacob had once left for her. He wasn't exactly sure how she did that, but he was impressed by her ability to fix everything. "When did you get here?"

"Just now. Do you have a fire extinguisher?"

"Nothing's on fire," she assured them both. "I just...I thought I had to wait until it was cooked."

"You have to flip it," Seth added helpfully.

"Oh."

He was pretty sure she hadn't even meant to do that.

"Let me," Jacob insisted, taking the pan out of her hand. Even though he was standing right beside her, he didn't notice anything amiss. Even though there was still the smallest traces of flour on her hair. "Since when do you cook?"

"I wanted to thank Seth for staying over last night. He made us an omelet—even wrecked his shirt. I thought pancakes would be a nice trade."

Jacob was gazing at her with a small smile that said she was the most wonderful thing he had ever seen, which made Seth feel horribly guilty. The blush on her face made him think she felt the same way. Or maybe she just enjoyed the attention. She was Jacob's imprint, after all. They belonged together.

Then she glanced over and Seth couldn't really bring himself to care. Fate might hate him, but there was nothing he could do about that. He was so screwed because Jacob's girl or not, he was so into her.

"If you want to take over, I should clean up," she said, returning Jacob's smile.

"I can help," Seth offered and she gave him the tiniest of nods.

So the three of them had breakfast together, hanging out like it was any other day. The pancakes were awful (they were too dry) but Jacob and Nessie pretended they weren't and Seth was glad she hadn't finished all of her omelet last night. Everything was almost like normal, except her foot was slowly creeping up Seth's leg. Would he have to tell Jacob on the way home? Probably. There was no way he was going to be able to control his thoughts. It was shame. He had been hoping to just talk it out when Nessie wasn't around—it was sure to get violent and he didn't want her to see Jacob when he went militant Alpha and beat the everlasting shit out of his subordinate. At least after that they'd be okay.

"How did you save my pancakes?" she asked Jacob, eventually.

"I'm just that good," he assured her, modest as always.

"All he can do is flip them," Seth told her. "He needs Embry or Leah to make the batter."

"Shut up. You're ruining my mystique."

"Don't worry, Jacob," she said with a grin. "You're still my pancake cooking hero."

Seth really didn't need her to reassure him, especially not with her hand on his thigh. Forcing his voice steady, he asked: "Do you have more syrup?"

"Sure." Her eyes were sparkling—he was so getting her back for this. She practically skipped to the fridge and it was not necessary to wiggle quite so much when she walked. Not that thinking that helped him take his eyes off her ass.

Fortunately, Jacob had the same problem.

When she turned around it was Jacob who struggled to come up with a diversion of sorts. Seth helped him out: "I have patrol today?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind. Quil wanted the day off."

"Cool. And you?"

"You wanna go for a hunt, Nessie?"

"I'm actually kind of tired today, Jacob. And I need—there's something I want to talk to my father about, actually. Sorry."

"Fine," he shrugged, not really hiding the disappointment. "We can go another day."

"Yeah."

Seth opened his mouth to say something else, but for the second time that morning an unwelcome sound reached his ears. "Your family's back."

"Oh."

"Way to sound excited there, Nessie," Jacob teased.

"I'm glad they're back," she hurried to say. She was fidgeting with her hair, knocking the last of the flour from it. "I just thought they'd be home later."

She was thinking something to her father, he was sure. He did his best to think of nothing at all, except maybe about the pancakes and the fun the Cullens must have had (and not about all the different ways the eight of them, plus Jacob, knew how to kill him).

"Mommy," Nessie cried, rushing to greet Bella. "You're home early."

Her family passed her around the way they usually did, eventually depositing her in Rosalie's arms, where her aunt cooed: "We missed you so much."

"And the snow was crap," Emmett complained.

The rest of the family chimed in, talking about the lousy conditions, even if the chalet was gorgeous. Most of the family. Edward was staring at his daughter, a little bit. Then he turned to Seth and slowly raised an eyebrow. The werewolf could only shrug.

_Sorry. She's just...too awesome._

Edward's frown deepened, but he didn't kill anyone immediately, so Seth figured he'd at least wait until Nessie explained. That was good.

"I should go," he announced soon after. "Thanks for letting me stay."

"Thanks for staying," Nessie replied, though she kept her eyes on the floor. It wasn't quite enough to fool Jasper, who was now looking at Edward curiously, but Seth was still breathing and he clung to that.

He headed out the door, close enough to smell the cold fresh air, but his name was called, freezing him in the doorway. Carlisle was too quick.

"My wife says we can't let you leave like that."

"What?"

Esme had fled the room as he tried to figure out was going on. Jacob was laughing. "He's just going to phase anyway."

But then Esme was back, holding out one of Emmett's shirts.

"Thanks, Esme. You're the best."

"We wouldn't want you to get sick now."

"Promise I won't."

Only Esme and Nessie were really paying attention to him, anymore. The rest of the Cullens were disappearing to their separate rooms, except for Bella and Edward, who were deep in conversation with Jacob (well, Edward was pretending to be deep in conversation while he stared at his daughter). Seth had forgotten how polite Esme always was, following him to the door, making sure that every second he was in her home he was looked after.

The awesomeness that was Esme Cullen extended all the way to waiting at the door of the house while Nessie followed him out to the steps. Even though he was down a step, he still had to look down to look her in the eye. There was snow on the ground and she had to be freezing with her legs bared to the cold. That's why he wrapped his arms around her, one more time.

"We should wait until I talk to Dad," she whispered in his ear, even as her hand clutched at Emmett's shirt and she leaned closer.

Maybe Esme could hear, maybe she couldn't. Nessie was slight, but maybe her hair would make what he was going to do a little less obvious. Because he had to kiss her goodbye, just in case everyone really over-reacted later on and it was his last chance.

"Promise your family won't kill me?" he whispered.

All she did was smile.

"Live dangerously."

It was just a brief goodbye kiss, a gentle brush of lips, something to prove to himself that this hadn't all been some kind of strange dream. Her lips were warm, despite the cold. When he pulled away her she was smiling again, in that way that made it hard to care about what might happen later.

And yeah, it had been a whole lot easier when she was this kind of abstract doll with Edward's hair, but right that second Seth didn't care that it might just get his head ripped off. As she waved goodbye from her front porch her brown eyes were sparkling, her red-brown hair was kind of a mess and she was like no one he had ever seen.

And she was so totally worth it.


	2. Sight

A/N: So this came out smuttier than I intended. Oh well.

* * *

She never thought he looked like Jacob.

When Nessie thought about Seth, in her routine contemplation of the various people that surrounded her in a seemingly futile attempt to figure out why her life was valued so much higher than theirs, she never mistook him for Jacob even though other people sometimes got them confused. Just because they were second cousins (possibly double second cousins, though they were unsure because precision was not a werewolf talent) who had looked similar even before they had turned into werewolves which made all the men of La Push into well-muscled clones didn't mean she couldn't tell them apart.

She was a vampire—well, half of one. Her eyes easily picked up all the minute differences and she never forgot them.

Not that it mattered, really, that she could tell her mother's best friend apart from her father's. She didn't really see Seth all that much, except for when Esme wanted her to practice being a good hostess and she had to entertain him while he waited for her father. It wasn't so bad, when it was Seth, because he didn't seem to mind being around her the way the others did. He even seemed to sort of like her, even if it was just because he adored her father and liked her mom.

And then she was _that_ close to being eighteen and he came home from school and it wasn't quite like before.

Jacob sometimes called her the luckiest girl in the world (arrogant much, Leah Clearwater would then sneer, because sneering is what Leah did around her). Nessie had to admit it was sort of true. Her parents were so devoted to each other they always forgot she was trying to sleep just down the hall, her family fought to dote on her like she was the last pair of designer sunglasses at an everything must go sale, she never wanted for material possessions, she was brilliant and she was physically attractive. There was absolutely nothing she could complain about. Still her luck continued.

All summer long she found herself dragged to the same pack functions that had once been the bane of her existence only to find they were suddenly fun. While the other werewolves gave her wide berth—even when Jacob had to leave her all alone to go deal with some very important issue the Elders had just brought to his attention before Leah got on his case about not dealing with it—Seth had not gotten the memo that should have warned him Jacob would tear out the tongue of anyone who spoke more than ten words to her at a time.

Seth spoke more than ten words. He spoke a lot more. It was hard getting him to stop talking, actually, not that she ever did. She liked listening to him when he talked, his hands flying everywhere until she thought he might hit someone or hurt himself, laughing all the while. It was a bit like...being part of things, listening to Seth. All the small things that very lucky girls didn't need to concern themselves with he seemed to delight in telling her about. She got to hear all about the games he played with the coupons he collected, the struggles he had trying to fix his mother's dishwasher, the dangers of patrol and the challenges of trying to get too many testosterone fuelled people to agree on what channel to turn the television to. She loved to listen to him. Seth seemed to find everything enjoyable—even her.

It really was like having a friend that summer (a friend in the flesh, not just in the letters the hybrids and vampires sent). Jacob could try to pretend they were friends, but Nessie wasn't born yesterday (almost seven years ago, if you wanted to be technical). Jacob wasn't her friend, not the way he was friends with other people. He didn't wrestle with her the way he fought with Quil and Embry, he didn't snark at her the way he did with Leah, he didn't even gaze at her the way he did with her mother. The other werewolves tolerated her but not well enough that she didn't notice it was forced and Sam's pack didn't even bother to pretend.

But Seth talked to her and listened to her and teased her and sometimes touched her accidentally as she tried not to blush. It really was like having a friend.

A friend with a smile that made her stomach clench and a laugh that made her heart flutter and a body that made her wonder things she really couldn't allow herself to think if she didn't want her father to kick her out of the house.

A friend.

Maybe, she thought angrily one day as she hunted with her mother, if she had more friends she wouldn't be in this situation now, where she couldn't stop wishing her friend would finally stop talking and just...

She didn't even know. She just knew the poor bear hadn't deserved to die quite that painfully.

Something had to be done.

Nessie refused to spend the rest of eternity secretly hoping he would be around when Jacob brought her to his house. It was intolerable, the way she rushed to answer her door just for the small chance that it was him. Her father was going to notice one day that her thoughts were not focused on the right werewolf and Nessie refused to suffer through the humiliation of being called out for something she could not control in front of Jacob, who would be hurt, and Seth, who would be embarrassed but not care.

Or maybe..._maybe_ he would. Sometimes when they were walking along the beach she would sneak a glance at him to find his eyes on her, looking...just looking at her, the way Seth sometimes looked at things, as if he was excited merely at the thought that he could exist at the same time she did. It was...nice. Not quite as nice as when he would take her hand and then seem to forget to let go, his warm fingers so reassuring against hers, but still very nice, to have him looking at her.

Unfortunately, she wasn't sure if she wasn't just imagining everything because she wanted it so badly. Seth was kind to everyone—it was annoying but true. It's why Edward actually liked Seth, though Daddy liked so few people. He made everything seem so easy, so if he did think about her the way she was obsessively thinking about him, then why hadn't he done anything? Maybe he just felt sorry for the imprint Jacob clearly didn't want.

When she posed the problem to her college roommate—after far too many of the bottles of the gross liquid that she was never, ever drinking again—she got laughed at. Carrie explained to her (rather rudely, actually) that if a man talked to you every other night for months straight he wasn't just feeling sorry for you. Chances were you were definitely friends.

But she didn't want to be just friends, she explained. Tell him, she was instructed. That wouldn't work, Nessie thought but didn't say. The werewolves, in general, were not very good with words.

She would have to show him instead.

It was surprisingly easy. She had never dreamed it would be that easy, not in a million years, though she giggled every time she remembered. She had been planning for the Christmas holidays, but when Seth showed up when she was all alone watching the midterm elections she simply adapted. Jacob would have been proud, she thought.

It was...perfect. Well, it would have been perfect if he hadn't made her feel like she was going to explode and then just laughed when she was _that_ close to spontaneously combusting, but she forgave him for that (mostly because he never brought up the fact she had _ruined _their first kiss by cracking an egg over his head).

He kissed her. He said he liked her. He even said they would tell her family and Jacob about them. Two of those things were much nicer than the third, but the third proved he really liked her. As much as she loved Daddy and Jacob, even she didn't want to talk to them about her dating. Seth was very brave (and kind of naive, she sometimes thought, but she wasn't going to complain if it meant he was willing to be with her anyway).

They hadn't really discussed it, but she couldn't tell Jacob in front of her family (he would never forgive her if Rosalie saw him hurt), so she knew Seth was going to have to deal with Jacob on his own. Neither of them would be able to keep a secret long. It was only fair that she deal with her father.

Edward was…unhappy.

But it could have been worse, she thought to herself over and over, while she waited for her father to say _something. _She waited patiently, then impatiently; he eventually got to the point.

"He should ask permission to court you."

"Excuse me?"

"He should ask my permission," her father decreed. "And have you discussed this with Jacob?"

She had a feeling she was going to be asked that a lot. So she called Seth, to ask how it had gone with Jacob.

"Okay," he said as if she couldn't tell that his speech was slightly slurred. She hoped he hadn't lost any teeth. "He's…thinking it over now. I think it's mostly the surprise that's throwing him. He didn't see this coming."

Proving Jacob lived in a world where the two of them were compatible and reality never came to visit.

"Daddy would like you to ask permission to date me before he's okay with this. If you don't mind?"

Jacob wouldn't have minded. It took Seth three minutes and forty-two seconds to stop laughing.

"Does that mean you have to ask my mother's permission to date me?"

Considering vampires were supposed to be dangerous predators (and Uncle Jasper had helped her become a decent fighter), Nessie was a little ashamed at how terrified she suddenly was. "You…you want me to talk to your mother? About…us?"

"Only seems fair, don't you think?"

It sounded like he was laughing at her. He wasn't being very nice, she told him; he asked her when she wanted him to come by. "Now" was apparently the right answer because he stopped laughing at her. He even said…some very nice things to her. And he told her was only joking about his mother.

He came over the next day—with shoes!—and sat on a couch beside her and across from her parents and politely asked for their permission to court her.

He ruined it by laughing at the end, unable to resist the joke even when it mattered so much, but it wasn't her father with his early twentieth century ideals who was most upset. It was her mother (which Nessie admitted later she should have seen coming).

"What about Jacob?" Bella asked.

"Well," Seth said slowly, not seeming to notice how he was playing with her fingers even though her face felt like she was standing too close to a stove, "He didn't make me ask for permission. Just…"

"Ouch," Edward said. Seth shrugged.

"We're good now. He just wants her to be happy."

"It's not like I don't want Jacob in our lives, Mommy. I just don't want him in this capacity." There was more she could have said, but she had to stick to her talking points. Because otherwise her mind drifted to things like mouths and hands and then her father would hear and that would be bad.

"But he's Jacob," her mother said as if that meant something. To her it evidently did.

"And he's wonderful," Nessie agreed. Seth agreed with her too—he saved her a lot of trouble by describing to Bella all the ways he agreed Jacob was totally the best ever. Then he let her finish: "He's just not the one I want to be with."

"Jacob looks at you like you're the only girl in the universe."

It was rather lonely, being the only girl in the universe.

She didn't say that, of course. It sounded too self-pitying and she didn't feel sorry for herself. She was the luckiest girl in the world—that was a simple fact. Just...

But her mother kept on talking before Nessie could figure out how to phrase everything.

"And Seth—no offence, Seth—hasn't exactly had only eyes for you, now has he?"

While Seth was not indifferent to her mother's comment (she could feel him shaking beside her, just a little, but whether it was from repressed rage or laughter she couldn't tell) and Nessie tried not to be jealous of what she couldn't change, it seemed her father had finally realized that if he ever wanted to take an active part in his daughter's life, now was the time to do it.

Nessie suspected her father was motivated by the realization that he much preferred his daughter with someone who was not his wife's 'best friend'. It would make future family dinners far less awkward.

"Bella, while I don't approve of Jacob's way of giving blessings he did agree that it wasn't his place to interfere. Since Seth has expressed a sincere admiration and respect," she didn't think it was just paranoia that had her thinking her father placed undue stress on that word, "For our daughter, I think we should follow Jacob's example and give our blessing as well."

Her mother still just looked confused. So Nessie stood up, kissed both her parents on their cheeks and thanked them very much for allowing her to be courted. Seth followed her example and thanked her parents then let Edward take him away so he could be threatened in private. Her mother remained seated, unable to comprehend.

"What did Jacob do wrong?"

"Nothing, Mommy. Everything was perfect." But she wasn't a vampire. Perfect got boring after a while. And perfect didn't press her against the couch and not notice when they accidentally tore her shirt in their haste to get rid of it. "I just...I don't know what to say to make you understand this has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me. Think of it as me not being perfect enough for him."

"Now that," her mother said, finally moving from the couch, "Is not possible."

Bella went to call Jacob, to make sure he was all right. Nessie paced the front hall and waited for Edward to release her boyfriend. To her great surprise (or maybe not) the two men came out laughing together, friends again.

Though Seth was a little bit naive in thinking things could go back to the way they had been before. Everything was not quite as warm as it had once been. But if Seth didn't mind (more likely he just didn't notice) and if her father didn't hate her too much (her father shot her such a look of annoyance at that thought she knew she didn't have to worry about him) then she would be okay with it as well.

"That went better than I thought it would," she said as Seth pulled her out the door so she could see him off. "I mean, Daddy seems okay and Mommy will be fine in—oh."

"I was listening," he promised before he went back to kissing her. This was not a very good idea since Edward was so close he couldn't help overhearing everything, but there was something very nice about being trapped between him and the house. Still, she managed to mumble between kisses, "I don't think this counts as respectful."

"Weren't you the one who said I had to show I could take care of you?"

Then his hand was under her shirt and he was lightly tracing her ribs and so she didn't bother to chastise him, she just hoped her parents had thought to block their thoughts (or were distracted themselves; they had been alone for more than a minute so it was a likely scenario). Then she forgot about her parents, forgot about most things except how warm his mouth was...and all the other places he should kiss.

Suddenly he pulled away and asked: "What was—was that you?"

"Was what me?"

Then his lips were on his neck and...oh my. The sensitive skin of her throat should not be kissed like that; it was making it very hard to stand up.

"Huh. Good idea, Nessie. Too bad I don't think the others are possible on a porch when your parents are home."

It took her normally prodigious brain a second to realize what he was saying. He had seen—duh. It wasn't enough that she was perfect; she had to have superpowers as well. Malfunctioning superpowers, apparently, because she hadn't meant to show him anything.

The werewolves didn't like it when she used her powers on them; well, Leah Clearwater didn't and it was always better to stay on Leah's good side. And when she used her powers on Jacob it always made her feel like she was one again, unable to use her words. She had loved speaking through her pictures as a little girl; she had thought she had out-grown the habit. But Seth didn't look too disturbed. In fact, it felt like he rather approved.

"You don't mind?"

He just laughed; she took that as a no. And then she showed him some more of the ideas that had been rattling around in her head as he got back to kissing her.

After an impossibly perfect moment, he pulled away. "Your father is clearing his throat repeatedly, inside."

She guessed her father did not want to see the way she wanted to crawl on top of Seth and then put her vampire-enhanced brain to the task of committing every inch of skin to memory.

"I should go," she realized. No doubt her parents would want to talk to her now. That would be almost as fun as being babysat by Alistair. "I go back to Seattle tomorrow but..."

"We'll talk," he promised. "And I'll visit—well, I'm guessing by the way your dad is pretending to cough I'm not going to be allowed to do that. But we'll talk for sure."

"And Christmas break is almost here."

And that smile really should be illegal. It wasn't healthy; she was pretty sure she had started sweating.

They said goodbye, snuck in one last kiss, and then she watched him take off, shrugging off his clothes as he went back to the woods. Normally she would have given the werewolves their privacy but she figured she was allowed to appreciate the very shapely muscles under his smooth russet skin.

Her father was so going to kill her.

It turned out that she was wrong. Her parents adopted the very sane policy of not discussing it. Ever. Nessie supposed it was only fair; having been aware of their sex life her entire life, Bella and Edward could hardly complain about her relationships. Besides, they hadn't disapproved of Nahuel—and Seth was clearly an improvement seeing as he actually seemed to like her even when he wasn't kissing her.

The matter was quickly settled in the Cullen household. If Seth made Nessie happy, then Seth was what Nessie got. Her family was remarkably sweet about most things. Even their humiliating 'educational talks' were well-intentioned if unnecessary. She had taught herself everything her entire life; she was more than capable of figuring everything out herself, thank you very much.

And Seth could help. She was going to insist on having his help, actually.

With her family on her side there was just the matter of Jacob.

Her entire life, Jacob had been there for her, every step of the way. While circumstances had prevented her from being the one to tell him about Seth, she figured she owed him an explanation as the man who had saved her entire family from annihilation once upon a time and who had made himself the foundation of her entire childhood. So before driving back to Seattle the next day, she drove to Jacob's house.

Billy did not look impressed when he opened the door, but then he never had. Jacob seemed even less pleased with her and that was so strange she couldn't help feeling hurt.

But she was not going to cry before they even started talking, so she settled down on the couch without their customary hug and waited for him to speak. It took him a while. He kept trying to make himself comfortable on the armchair across from her but couldn't seem to succeed. It was only after he gave up entirely, so he could tower above her, that he actually managed to start talking.

"Seth?"

Well, at least it was a word.

"Yes, Jacob."

"You want to be with _Seth_? Seth Clearwater? Annoying, hyper, never-shuts-up-even-when-you-threaten-bodily-harm Seth? Seth who—"

"May I remind you that there are very few people you think more highly of than Seth? At least, that's how you felt the last time I saw you."

"Yeah, I didn't know he had just tried to sleep with my imprint behind my back."

"He didn't—don't be crude, Jacob."

"You do know that the entire pack sees exactly what you do with him? And exactly what he wants to do to you."

It must be a lot of fun if Jacob was so upset by it. Of course she was aware of the werewolves' telepathy. What did that matter? If she was going to subject her family to her most intimate moment (they started it) then the boys of La Push were welcome to them too. She was physically perfect; and privacy was not something she had ever been allowed.

"Yes. Really, Jacob, if that's your only objection, may I point out I would have had the same problem if I was involved with you?"

And just like always Jacob was immediately uncomfortable at the idea of the two of them being connected in any way that didn't involve a giant stuffed teddy bear.

"You're seven years old. You shouldn't be _involved_ with anyone."

She had been six when she went to South America to meet Nahuel; he hadn't let the hundred plus years of age difference get in his way, even though her parents had been right there.

"Do you really think I'm seven years old?"

"You _are._"

"Seth doesn't think so."

"Seth doesn't think." Since it was a little true, Nessie just got angrier. "He doesn't realize that when you stop going through your little phase he's just going to end up crushed."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh come on, Nessie. You're dating the substitute me. You don't think that's going to end badly when you finally grow up a little bit?"

Just because everyone knew that Seth would have been beta if Leah Clearwater wasn't scary evil did _not_ make him the substitute-Jacob. She wanted to laugh. Just because they were both strong and brave and addicted to danger did not mean they were similar at all. She might not be able to fully understand either of their sense of humors but she could tell they were different. Just like she could tell they saw everything so very differently—and not just because Seth saw her family as human even though they weren't (not really).

"Are you more worried about me dating him or him dating me?" That was the problem with Jacob, most of the time. He loved her...he just kept thinking about his pack the whole while. "Not that it matters. As a matter of fact, I don't think this will end badly."

"Because you're immature enough to still believe in happily ever after."

She had daily proof that happily ever after existed, actually, but she did not bring that up. Instead she asked a simple question.

"Do you believe Seth doesn't sincerely care about me?"

As if Seth didn't sincerely care about everyone.

Jacob sighed, but through gritted teeth admitted: "No. He likes you."

"And I like him. Please, Jacob? Can't that be enough?" Her father had been less tiresome; and he wondered why she was more interested in his subordinate?

"You know I just want you happy."

"You sound more convincing when you tell me you're not still in love with my mother."

"I'm not—I just...I still can't get over it. You and Seth? _Seth_? Nessie..."

He was starting to annoy her so she cheated a bit; she let the tears fill her eyes.

"Please say you're okay with this, Jacob. Because I couldn't be happy with him if I thought you were angry with me, but I...I really think I could...I really like him, Jacob. Please say it's okay if I'm with him?"

It worked, just like she knew it would. He never could deny her.

"I...I hope the two of you are happy."

"Thank you, Jacob."

Then he kissed her forehead and that should have been that.

He had given his blessing—you couldn't take back a blessing. Nessie wasn't very big on religion as a whole but she was pretty there were no take-backs when it came to blessings. So she left for school with high hopes.

Carrie mocked her mercilessly, but she didn't care. Her roommate was just jealous she didn't have Seth talking to her at night, about the strangest of things and the strangest of peoples (there were always so many people, when she talked to Seth, she sometimes found it terrifying. Vampires with magic powers she could handle, but _people_?).

Seth had been right when he said her parents disapproved with him visiting her. Having the two of them alone in a city where there was no one to supervise them was against the rules and when she finally got back to Forks she was forbidden from bringing Seth over unless at least three adults (and Emmett didn't count, she had been told) were at the house. So she called him up and asked if he wouldn't mind meeting her in Forks, instead.

As nice as talking to him on the phone was, he seemed to prefer talking face to face. And there were other things besides talking she wanted to do with him.

Maybe if she hadn't told him some of those things (he made her, it wasn't really her fault) they wouldn't have run into problems with Jacob.

Seth found her on a bench outside the hardware store in town, sitting in a darling skirt that Alice had picked out. She would survived the cold; the way his face lit up made her quite sure of that.

"Do you have any idea how adorable you are? I love that hat."

"You would."

He was already playing with the three pompoms on the top of her head. Easily distracted did not begin to describe Seth.

But he was sort of adorable, like that, so she stood up from the bench and leaned up to kiss him hello. Their noses were a hairs width apart when he jerked back so far he almost tripped. It hadn't been accidental, either, that much was obvious. Was he that repulsed by her that he couldn't even let her touch him?

"Don't—Nessie, don't look at me like that." Seth looked like he was going to be sick, which was how she felt. "There's something I kind of need to tell you. I just didn't want to blurt it out because it's going to upset you and I didn't want to—"

"You're breaking up with me already?"

So much for being the perfect child. She was so undesirable that she couldn't keep Seth (who could amuse himself for hours with a simple piece of string) entertained for more than a few weeks.

"Don't be stupid. It's just that...kissing is kind of off limits."

"If you hate kissing me so much—"

"Kind of the opposite," he reminded her. "It's just we can't right now."

"My parents—"

"Are not the only over-protective guardians you have. I'm not—I can't touch you, okay?"

"Just because Jacob told you not to..."

"More like ordered me not to."

"Ordered?" It took her a moment to get it. "Like _Alpha ordered_?"

"It was kind of an accident," Seth shrugged. "He kind of disapproved of...well, everything, basically."

"It's not like we were..."

She was pretty sure Seth knew she was a virgin (and _so_ had to stay that way until they got married if he didn't want to die very, very slowly) but they hadn't actually talked about it. She suspected it made the difference in their ages too real—he'd been having sex for almost as long as she'd been alive (not that she had needed to know that, Uncle Emmett). It was best not to think about it. But, still, the point was that Jacob should have known that wasn't even an option. Yet.

"I should have been less happy you were coming back. It made him...he just blurted out that I wasn't allowed to touch you anymore. He probably would have taken it back, he just...Leah was so pissed that they got into a fight and he sort of forgot. He'll take it back soon enough."

Her cheeks flushed; she was deathly embarrassed. And under her shame was rage, burning inside her. It was one thing for Jacob to bandage her knees—he was taking his caretaker role to the extreme, now. She was not a child, anymore.

"He has no right to tell you not to—" She choked on her own anger. "That bas—"

"This is a good thing," Seth interrupted, laughing all the while. He could laugh. He hadn't spent most of his life as forbidden fruit and the rest of it felt up by Nahuel who had a hundred years of experience in thinking only about himself.

"I fail to see how this is in any way good."

"Jacob is going to feel like an asshole. He hates Alpha orders on principle—he didn't mean to give this one. He'll owe us." Seth laughed some more. "And his trying to interfere has got Leah and my mom so pissed at him that they are all for me dating you just to screw him over."

"Your family is sort of bizarre, you realize?"

"Yours is just as weird."

"True." She sighed. "So this is a good thing?"

"Yeah. He'll take it back as soon as he thinks it's worth seeing my sister again to phase. In the meantime we'll just have to figure out something else to do."

"More board games?"

"You're cute when you pout," he laughed. "I like board games."

Then he took her arm—they were touching, she pointed out, but he pointed out the layers she was wearing and the fact he was wearing a jacket for the first time in a long time. Alpha orders were made to be bent (or maybe it was just a fortunate by-product of Jacob's own unorthodox nature). Since they were at least arm in arm, she tried to be content.

Except for his tendency to greet every pretty girl they passed by name, it was quite an enjoyable walk to Charlie's house. She couldn't complain about the girl thing (even though part of her wanted to, anyways) because he knew _everyone's_ name, it seemed. Forks was small but it was kind of obscene how friendly Seth was. Still, he introduced her all the time and for the first time since she was born she actually felt a tiny bit of kinship for the town she had lived in most of her life.

She was glad to reach Charlie's, however. Getting too involved with everyone all at once might have killed her.

Charlie and Sue were at work, he explained while he used the key hidden outside to let them into the house, but they had plenty of board games lying around. Nessie was pretty sure he was teasing even though beating him at Monopoly didn't sound as bad as she pretended it did. In the silence of the house her anger melted away. Who cared what Jacob had done? She was finally alone with her boyfriend. The anticipation (of what? She wasn't exactly sure) that had filled her when he came over on midterm night started spreading through her again.

"You wanna head to the kitchen or just stay here?" he asked, gesturing to the living room.

"Actually, we should probably stay someplace out of the way. We don't want to be rude. Isn't my mother's old room technically yours now?"

"It's technically a guest bedroom," he prattled on, oblivious. "But sure. Lead the way."

Maybe he wasn't so oblivious. When she glanced back at him as she walked up the stairs, his expression made her blush.

"It'll be easier to think of something to play once we're sitting comfortably," she found herself saying nervously as she stepped through the doorway.

The room that had once been her mother's was almost bare. Sue had managed some decorations, a picture of the coast on the wall, a wooden chest on the vanity, but for the most part it was completely impersonal. Even the bedspread was a very neutral grey. Everything was so anonymous Nessie couldn't help believing they had somehow slipped into a dream world.

"Sure," Seth said. He shut the door behind them before coming further into the room. No one would disturb them here, not overbearing parents or controlling imprinters. "So would you like to play checkers or maybe—"

"Let's sit down, first, before we decide."

She just really wanted him to stop standing there in the middle of the room, too tall, with his shirt stretched too tightly across his chest and his lips parted ever so slightly making her think things that made her stomach clench. He might not have been able to touch her anymore but she couldn't stop imagining him doing just that.

A low chuckle echoed through the room, which did not help the situation in her stomach any. She couldn't help glancing up into his dark eyes, feeling like she was trapped. Since when did all her words abandon her? She wanted to say something witty and clever and all she could manage was a nervous smile.

"Come on," she forced herself to say, instinctively reaching for his bare hand. Just like before, he jerked away before she got close. "Sorry. I forgot."

"Stop apologizing. You didn't do anything."

"Well, I have to start practicing now. Because when I kill Jacob, there will be a lot of people I have to apologize to."

He laughed again and she found courage in that. Her grin widened and she beckoned him closer, stepping back towards the bed.

"Come here."

She quickly shrugged off her jacket (and the cardigan Alice made her wear underneath so she just had a blouse on) and kicked off her shoes and socks, trying not to get distracted by how awfully close he was and how the heat coming off him was just as tempting as usual. Despite the Alpha command he could still get fairly close even if he couldn't touch her—without knowing why it was important, she filed that away for later.

Scrambling backwards, not really caring that her skirt was riding dangerously high (and pleased to see how his eyes followed the hemline) she beckoned again. This time he listened, taking off all but his t-shirt and jeans (not that she had been hoping...never mind) and lying down beside her.

The bed was too small. It would have been too small for just him, let alone two people. She had never been so grateful for Charlie's miniature furniture in her life. Even if they couldn't touch they were still perfectly close together, both on their sides facing each other.

"What are you thinking?" she asked him.

"I'm probably not allowed to tell you that either."

Something about the way he said that made her shiver—it was far from unpleasant. His arm jerked. Maybe he knew how much she wanted him to be touching her right then, hand against her cheek, or her neck or her arm or _something_. Anywhere, really. She just needed to feel him. Somehow.

"Tell me anyway," she whispered. "I want to know."

"I'm thinking..." He trailed off, laughing to himself. "Hold on a sec."

Then he rolled off the bed and over to the dresser. Bewildered, she was left with nothing to do but stare at his very wide back. There was that feeling in her stomach again and a twitching in her fingers because she wanted…she wanted so badly.

"Got it," he declared.

When he turned back around in his hand was a…giant pink feather pen?

"Um…okay?"

"It's Leah's. I think. I found it under the bed the last time I was here." The smirk on his face was making it harder for her to breathe, or maybe it was the evil glint in his eyes. "I might not be able to touch you, but you shouldn't think you're safe."

"You wouldn't dare."

He lay back down on the bed and brushed the pink weapon across the inch of skin between her shirt and skirt, making her whole body jerk.

"Not fair," she whimpered, trying to squirm away from him, or at least pretending she was. Really, she didn't mind at all the feel of the silky smooth feather against her skin, nor the shivering it caused. After a moment she even settled on her back so he could tickle her more easily.

"You're so beautiful when you laugh," he said softly.

"I'm always beautiful. Comes with the immortality."

When she smiled he brushed the feather across her lips, before moving it back against her cheek, then along her arm. That tickled worst of all, but she was too paralyzed by his gaze to do more than shiver.

"No," he disagreed. "I mean, sure, your entire family's gorgeous but you're...you're just something else. And this is me explaining it very badly."

She didn't need him to get a thesaurus and figure out the proper words. The affection in his voice told her what he meant.

"I think I sort of get it. Thank you."

The urge to sit up and run her fingers through Seth's hair, to bring his face closer to hers, to kiss the full lips so close to her own was rather overwhelming. If it had been possible she might not have been able to resist the temptation.

So she was smiling as he ran the feather against her hand, trying to show him how much he meant. But when he gently brushed the silk against her thigh she stopped smiling. It was hard to smile when she couldn't breathe.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"No. Don't…don't stop."

Permission was quietly exchanged, even as she fought to control her breathing though the air was so thick it felt impossible. She never would have thought her thigh would be particularly sensitized to touch, but there was no denying that she seemed to feel every stray brush of the feather deep inside her. Keeping herself still took a herculean effort as she couldn't help imagining it was his fingers gently running up the inside of her thigh, teasing ever so casually, _so_ close to where she kept imagining him touching her.

"Seth?" His name came out as more of a moan. "It tickles."

His voice was lower than usual, heavy with implications.

"Do you like it?"

Her nipples tightened painfully, the thin lace bra hiding nothing. So that's why Alice said some padding wasn't a bad idea in the winter.

"Yeah."

When he ran the feather over the lace of her panties, the slight touch made her hips jerk right off the bedspread.

"Good. 'Cuz I kind of like the view."

She glanced up at him, where he was leaning over her, eyes so dark they looked black. He wanted her. She didn't need her father's power to know that. The knowledge did not help the tightness in her stomach, just helped it spread lower, settling between her thighs, demanding satisfaction.

"Do you?"

Her fingers were never this clumsy, but she didn't care. They undid the buttons of her blouse eventually. Running her hands across her smooth stomach, she watched him watch her, his eyes glued to the hands pushing the blouse off her, exposing her lace-covered breasts.

Was she really doing this? The lace itched against her hands, but Seth was breathing harder now so it seemed like a good idea to do something about the way her breasts were aching. The plan had just been to massage them lightly (innocently), but then Nessie found herself pinching at the hardened nipples through the fabric and that just made her eyes flutter closed.

"Don't close your eyes," he commanded. "Look at me."

It wasn't fair; she was going to need medical attention soon for her poor overworked heart. Beating that fast was not healthy. He shouldn't be allowed to have such dark eyes.

It didn't make sense, the way she couldn't seem to look away from him. Not a lot in her life had made sense since he started coming around, but she was okay with nonsense, all of a sudden. Nonsense had her hands being a little rougher, trying to distract herself from another sort of ache that she wanted to do something about.

"Take off your shirt," she whispered.

He grinned, remembering like she was, before pulling his shirt up over his head with ease. He was beautiful—that was the only word for it. Perfectly muscled, he was made to be touched, made for her to run her hands up and down, made to press against her. The wetness between her thighs grew impossible to ignore.

His breath was warm against her, against her neck and collar and further down...

"Does—"

"Yeah," she muttered. Of course the bra undid in the front—didn't he know who picked out all her clothes? When the clasp was suddenly impossibly difficult she felt herself flush (she was embarrassed because she couldn't work lingerie and not because she was stripping in front of him? He really did make her completely irrational).

Still, the metal eventually gave way to vampire strength. And then there was nothing between her chest and the too cold air and his too warm breath.

"Thank you, Alice," she heard him mutter.

As much as she liked how much Seth liked everyone: "You are not allowed to mention my family right now."

"Maybe Alice is just the name of your left—"

"You do not get to name by breasts." She bit her lip, but couldn't help adding, "Not after my family."

He pretended he wasn't laughing while he held himself away from her by leaning his weight against the wall. That last little inch remained between them, an inch he couldn't cross no matter how he was looking at her chest right then, or running one hand so very close to the curve of her hip. He couldn't help her.

There was no one to help her but herself.

Living with her supernatural parents meant she didn't have a lot of experience with this, but she didn't care anymore. She could screw this up—as long as she managed to touch herself first.

Slowly, releasing a shaky breath or two (or ten), she ran her hands down her body, letting herself enjoy how it tingled, and how he smiled, and how it was obvious he appreciated the view, and how the ache intensified within her.

Her hand slipped under the waistband of her skirt, underneath her panties, her own skin impossibly soft right _there_. The smallest touch had her legs parting instinctively. She made herself pause; it wouldn't do to be rude.

"Do you mind?"

He closed his eyes, breathing deeply again—smelling her, she realized. How much she wanted him, how much she needed this. He managed to shake his head, even as his arm jerked towards and away from her again. His hands were shaking—sort of like she was.

"Go right ahead."

Wasting no more time, she brought her hand to her core.

"Oh. I didn't think I would be this hot," she muttered and was rewarded with his pained gasp, which just made her hotter. On the rare occasion she was alone enough to do this she went as quickly as she could; today she took her time. She didn't have much of a choice. It might have been easier to remember what she was doing if she could tear her eyes away from Seth, but she figured remembering was overrated.

There was just him and her and her very wet pussy.

Usually when she stroked herself it was like fire spreading through her body, but somehow now it was like her body had gone supernova. Her legs were shaking terribly; then they were kicking out, forcing him away. This time she didn't bother to apologize. He wouldn't have heard, anyway, too busy watching her.

"You know," she began, fighting for air, "I was thinking before…just because you can't touch me…doesn't mean I can't touch you. Right?"

"Try," he all but begged.

The desperation in his voice pushed her to action, forcing her to abandon her own pleasure for just a while.

"Lie back."

Her fingers were glistening as she pressed them to his chest, feeling his heart hammering underneath her hand. His whole body was shaking from the effort of not moving, and she was shaking with the joy of finally being able to touch him, but at least there was some contact, even if it wasn't nearly enough. Knowing she didn't have much time, she hurried to undo the button on his jeans. She pushed them down his hips and then grabbed his hard cock ('oh' said the sane part of her mind, but she wasn't thinking anymore), slowly stroking it—before he jerked away from her.

They lay together, panting, for a second. Seth sounded like someone was strangling him.

"I don't think I've ever hated anyone as much as I hate Jake right now."

She laughed; hating Jacob properly could wait until after she stopped feeling like she was going to die if he wasn't touching her.

Arching back she tugged off her panties. She almost dropped them on the floor without thinking, but she was big on thoughts today; like he had once played with the pink feather she let the lace material tease his skin.

His hand was a lot larger than hers, she thought, as he wrapped his hand around his dick, watching her kneeling above him. It was amazing how much more he could hold, though she suspected he would much rather it was her hand even if it was smaller.

"Give me those," he said, so she handed over her panties. His fingers played with the wetness she had left as he let the smell flood his senses. Not wanting to be left out, she let her blouse and bra fall off her shoulders and drop to the bed. Then she hiked up her skirt and leaned back on her heels, letting the wall support her weight.

Holding his eyes while her fingers went to her core was almost too easy. She expected to be embarrassed as she began to finger herself for his viewing pleasure but she wasn't. All she felt was beautiful and desirable and sexy—and horny as fuck.

This time when he said she was beautiful, he didn't mean what he had before. She liked that she could be both, both beloved and desired. Then she gave herself over to the feelings her furiously busy hand was invoking deep within her.

He started telling her a story then, the reason Jacob wouldn't let them near one another. It started with his lips on her neck (she was half-vampire, after all, and he wasn't scared of that the way everyone else was) and then he'd move downwards, to her exposed breasts, heaving in the fight for air. He told her what he wanted to do to them…sucking and biting, teasing and pulling, making her legs weak with just the thought. And then he wanted to move downward still, along her stomach and then under her skirt, replacing the fingers that were pumping furiously inside her with his own.

And then he wanted to find out if she was just as sweet as he thought she'd be.

She was trembling like her very soul was struggling to escape her body in its search for some higher pleasure, desperate for release. No wonder she was left so drained when she finally came, whimpers torn from her throat. She wanted more than her imagination, she needed more than just her hand, but her body would make do for the moment.

Temporarily.

"Come here," he beckoned and so she did, stumbling onto her hands and knees so she was hovering over him. She pressed herself as close as she dared, until they were sharing the same breath, her wet fingers almost against his lips.

"Licking isn't touching," she observed.

His mouth was burning as it engulfed her fingers, though she was wrong about the loophole because his body jerked back seconds after contact. Long enough because he groaned her name and then—

Oh. She hadn't expected that to be quite so hot against her leg.

When she said that, Seth laughed, the way he usually did, but he also gave her this look that made her feel like she was his favorite thing in the world, something infinitely precious and decidedly everyday all at once, like a young boy's favorite toy truck perhaps. She was the one thing the he just didn't want to lose, not for any inherent value but because it was precious to him.

She found herself unable to stop smiling.

He used his shirt to clean up, to brush her leg the way he couldn't. She didn't mind the mess, really, but she let him, because she liked the way he was playing with her thigh through the fabric.

"Sorry about that," he muttered.

"Kind of my fault."

"Kind of?" He laughed then, leaning closer for half a second before he remembered. Would he ever be able to kiss her again? "That was all you."

"It was your idea."

"I was having innocent feather fun."

"Yeah, Seth, that might work on other people, but that's not going to work on me. You play up the innocent thing."

"Apparently it's not working anymore," he complained as he pulled up his pants. "Because otherwise Jacob would trust me with you."

"Not that he should—you're corrupting me and everything."

"Hey, I would have stopped with the tickling."

"Tease."

Her smile threatened to split her face.

"True. Goes to show how much better your ideas are than mine."

Giggling, she wrapped her arms around herself. Seeing that she was cold, Seth pulled the comforter over her shoulders then wrapped her tightly in it, pulling her onto his lap. It wasn't quite as good as being pressed against him, but it was nice, having him hold her like this.

"I'll talk to Jacob," she murmured. Before he found out about what had just happened—or neither of them was ever going to be allowed within a hundred feet of the other ever again. "He doesn't have a right to be upset."

"Jacob practically raised you. And he owns me," Seth said bluntly. It didn't bother him, but he wasn't going to ignore the fact. "He has a right."

"I don't care, then. I want…" after everything she had done, now she blushed, "I want you. Jacob can…screw off."

"You're such a brat," he said affectionately.

"I can't help that I always get what I want." She took a deep breath; it helped her not be so furious. "First thing tomorrow I'll get him to reverse the order. And apologize."

Jacob was going to be doing a lot of groveling tomorrow.

"You could come by in the afternoon," Seth said.

"By then he'll have seen. And killed you." She found herself sighing. "Life would be so much easier if your friends couldn't watch us."

"It's not like that, you know," he murmured, uncharacteristically serious. "It's not like I can close my eyes and pull porn out of their heads. We share _everything_. Memories...we feel the way they felt. So even when they see you, they see you the way I see you, but they also feel the way I feel about you at that moment...they care about you way too much to watch when they know you wouldn't want them to."

She felt herself melting a little, even if he was only hinting that he cared about her. "Is that why you don't mind if Jacob sees? Because then he'll know how you feel?"

"No, I don't want—forget it, Nessie." But one look at her face and he must have realized she wasn't going to just ignore something she hadn't thought of. How were you supposed to learn if you just ignored new information? "I don't want to show him anything. He's just going to find out anyway so maybe we should just get that out of the way."

Since Nessie did not want to think about Jacob seeing her naked, ever, she hurried on the conversation.

"Why should we show Jacob before and not after?" Seth groaned and told her to forget it, already. She could get this. It took her a second, but eventually she came up with something probable. "If he sees he'll know nothing short of killing you will keep us apart. And he'd do a lot of things to protect me but pissing off Leah is not one of them."

Seth laughed and agreed and tried to kiss her again because he had no attention span whatsoever so when that didn't work they got up and hunted down checkers because, well, board games were kind of awesome.

(she won...not that it mattered, but she won all five games)

Seth was there when she got to Jacob's the next day, sitting at the kitchen table and eating across from Jacob like nothing was the matter, like Jacob wasn't wishing he would just drop dead. Ignoring Jacob he held out his hand to her and she was delighted to find their fingers could now interlock. Out of respect for Jacob she didn't kiss Seth right then, though she did let him wrap his arm around her waist and she did place her arm around his shoulders and lean against his warm body.

"See?" Seth said. "Told you Jake wasn't actually a dick."

For half of half a second she thought the resemblance uncanny as the two men watched each other from across the table. She interrupted, even if (because) she didn't understand.

"I think you owe us an apology as well, Jacob."

"Oh, like hell—" With great effort, Jacob reigned in his anger. "It won't happen again. Now both of you get out of my house."

"Jacob, you can do better than that."

"It's fine, Nessie," Seth said as he got up. He looked just as completely different as he normally did. "I'll see you at dinner?"

Jacob sighed, looking like his taller, weary self: "Yeah. Pick up something for desert."

"Marshmallows?"

"Something that doesn't suck," Jacob ordered.

Seth laughed as they headed out. But he didn't make her wait beyond the front door before he was kissing her again. She could get used to that.

For the rest of his very long life Jacob never issued another Alpha order, even accidentally. Nessie always suspected his displeasure at discovering how orders could be circumvented prompted that particular policy but it was not something she ever asked about.


	3. Touch

A/N: I wrote about Egypt before and now I'm too lazy to change it. So, yeah.

* * *

Being with her was easy.

If he had thought about it—which he hadn't, really, unless he counted those ten minutes when he was concussed that time when he imagined them riding together on a white pony that he tried not to think about because he wanted a pony named Samson and that was a silly name for a white horse, all things considered—Seth might have imagined it would be difficult. Usually when things happened with Nessie they were complicated, scary vampires travelling all the way from wherever complicated. She seemed not to mind; she had infinite patience with letting other people plan her life, so Seth just assumed she'd help him figure out how to deal with all the complications that came with being with her.

But it was even easier than all that.

Edward and Jacob came around quickly enough. He had expected Edward to be chill about the whole dating his daughter thing but Jacob came around remarkably quickly, too. All it took was one fractured jaw and one really annoying Alpha order (that turned out to be so worth it) and Jacob was all right with Seth dating his soul mate. It was kind of great.

True, the pack wasn't exactly thrilled. Something about him screwing with traditions that shouldn't be messed with for the most part, but they also just didn't like that she was a vampire. Or Jacob's imprint. Or quiet. Or...they liked complaining about everything, Seth's brothers. But since the Cullens _weren't_ his mortal enemies, Seth rolled his eyes, let them make their jokes and then got Nessie afterwards.

Edward insisted she be home by eleven (was she ten?) and all dates had to be confirmed with Alice ahead of time just in case they interfered with one of her surprise family get togethers but all that was a small price to pay. Besides, if he played his cards right Alice usually gave him the best ideas.

Sure, she had school in Seattle and he was working in Forks, but since Jacob was still trying to make up with Nessie, he convinced Bella to let Seth visit his girlfriend. Okay, so maybe it was a tiny bit complicated, dating Nessie, because he sometimes needed to send messengers in order to see his girlfriend, but it was kind of super awesome too so he could deal.

Besides, Jacob could get Bella to agree to most things and once Bella was okay with something it went without saying that Edward would go along with it.

So Seth got to hang out with Nessie in Seattle. It was great getting to be with her someplace that wasn't surrounded by family. Seth loved his family (furry or sparkly) but he wasn't the biggest fan of superhearing when his girlfriend was super hot.

Plus the weird thing about being quasi-grown up (he still handed over almost all the money he made to his mother just like he had since his first lemonade stand, so the only difference now was that he had to work longer hours and no one paid him because they felt sorry for him) was that he was a little better at planning. She had worked far ahead of her classmates, anyway, so she was going to school for the social experience. If he hadn't come up on his days off she would have been bored stupid.

Nessie did have a roommate, but the girl was cool. Seth liked her for the brash attitude (it was like being at home) and her ability to make herself scarce in a way no one in the pack could have managed. They usually left Carrie the room and hung out outside, where the cold didn't bother them, but if it was a Friday or a Saturday night she'd find someplace else to crash.

Then he got to be alone with Nessie and that was the easiest of all.

She was always just so...Nessie. Crazy-determined and crazy-brilliant and so soft and gentle he sometimes worried about hurting her even though she was stronger (transformed was another matter but she didn't like touching him when the others were in his head even if all he wanted was to get his ears scratched). And she got even more amazing, if that was even possible, when they were alone and she stopped trying to be as perfect as she was advertised as being and simply was.

And she didn't hate playing board games with him as much as she sometimes said—any game where she could figure out how to win was good by her. Even if she was a sore loser (worse than even Paul).

It was the easiest thing in the world, being with her, even if predicting her moods was a little tricky.

"Do you think this is a phase?"

"What?"

They had been talking about the forest the last time Seth checked and he was just a little confused, even if Nessie was resting on him as they lay on her bed, so he was in no hurry to figure any of it out.

"Do you think that it's a phase?"

"Hopefully. No one should eat that many carrots a day. You're going to turn orange, Ness."

It was one of the few human foods she seemed to like, so in true Cullen fashion Alice had shipped out crates of the things.

"I don't eat _that _many carrots. Not that—you can't turn orange from eating carrots, silly."

"Sure you can. I saw it on the _Magic School Bus."_

It was kind of mind-blowing how beautiful she looked when she smirked like that. "You do know that school buses don't shrink in real life, don't you?"

"Funny," he said as she giggled, before he rolled over, trapping her underneath him.

"I am funny," she pouted, even as she wrapped her arms and legs around him, pulling him closer. He was careful to keep his weight off her, even though she was so soft he kind of just wanted to lean down and kiss her (of course, she leaned up then and somehow they were kissing, so that solved that).

There was the soft skin by her ear that he had to nibble on and then there was the smooth expanse of her neck...her eyes were beautiful when they seemed to melt like that, drawing him in.

"Do you think this is a phase?"

"No," she whispered. "It's too confusing to be a phase, I think."

He couldn't help laughing. "What's confusing?"

"You."

"How am I confusing?"

"I don't know," she said. "That's the confusing part."

"I'm going to pretend this conversation made sense to me."

So she painted a picture in his head, a portrait of himself that he didn't recognize, something beloved and exciting and terrifying and familiar and exotic all at the same time. And it was confusing, how she could put so much into a simple picture, but on the other hand it was all pretty simple if you just concentrated on the fact his girlfriend had superpowers and that was awesome.

"I don't know how your head doesn't explode," he told her frankly.

And then he got back to kissing her, and other things, because the curve of her hip was too tempting not to touch. She was the one who managed to get her shirt off before he realized quite what was happening.

"You should totally walk around like that more often."

"I think that's a violation of public decency laws." Then she rolled her eyes. "Like the way you can't remember to put a shirt on in public."

"It's too hot to wear a shirt."

"Well...I suppose it's okay if you walk around half-naked. In my totally unbiased opinion devoid of ulterior motives."

"You're so hot when you talk all brainy."

"Shut up, Seth." But she didn't return his kiss as eagerly as before. Uh oh. She was thinking now. "Not that I'm the only one who would enjoy...she thinks I'm a slut, you know."

"Who thinks you're a what?"

"Carrie," she said, rolling her eyes. "She thinks I'm a slut."

"Because you have her running interference with all your other boyfriends while I'm here?"

Nessie just looked confused; she was too adorable.

"She keeps asking me things about you."

_Things_, her tone of voice made clear, that Nessie didn't want to answer. Which just made him say, "What sorts of things?"

"Inappropriate things." Her cheeks began to color. "She once asked me why I made you sleep on the floor in the morning when it was obvious we had been humping like rabbits all night."

He slept on the floor because he could sleep anywhere but she couldn't. Sharing her single bed meant she didn't sleep at all so since he could sleep anywhere he just took a pillow and slept on the ground. It was more comfortable than half the places he usually slept—and Nessie, who hated 'making him' sleep on the floor, always made sure to give him a warm breakfast in return.

"What did you say?"

"I explained that while rabbits do have a tendency to procreate rapidly—"

He couldn't even wait for her to finish; the laughter bubbled up and out. Once he had finished he lightly brushed his lips against hers.

Nessie just pouted, "She thinks I'm a slut."

They hadn't even had sex yet. She didn't like talking about it, but Seth had figured out pretty quickly that Nessie was absolutely all for trying _everything_ as long as a certain minimal distance was kept between their hips. That was all right by him. It was like when he turned into a werewolf. He could have complained that paws meant he could no longer eat with a fork (and everyone agreed that forks were the best things ever) or he could just enjoy that hunting was even more awesome that it used to be. He got to eat, either way. Or in this case, he just enjoyed that his girlfriend was a creative genius.

"She thinks you're sleeping with your boyfriend, which doesn't make you a slut. Besides, she thinks you have good taste."

The pouting turned into a real frown.

"She likes you. All the girls around here like you."

"They're nice girls."

"Yes."

"What's with that face?"

"What face?"

"That cute little scowl of yours."

"I am not scowling."

"Liar," he teased. Then he started saying it in sing-song. "Liar, liar—"

"You don't have to be nice to everyone."

Seth was utterly perplexed. "Would you rather I start treating people badly?"

"No. Just—never mind." She leaned up to kiss him, but he pulled away.

"Nessie, I...I like the girls around here. They're nice girls and they're fun to talk to. But that's all."

"I know. Normally, I like that you don't treat me like I'm special. I just wish you didn't treat _every_ pretty girl you met the same way. That's all."

"I don't treat you like your special?"

That didn't seem like a good thing.

"Seth, that's not...don't look like that. It's one of the things I like about you. Most of the time."

"Okay."

"Really. It's just hard, sometimes, not getting treated like I'm the center of the universe. I like it, but it's hard. Not that I don't think you're absolutely wonderful to me. I just...it's just weird for me, knowing you _could_ look at someone else. Jacob wouldn't..."

He had wanted to be like Jacob ever since he could remember, only now the comparison grated.

"Sorry."

"Seth, don't—that's not what I meant. I just...I know I'm a mess of insecurity and I'm trying to stop. I just...I don't know what to do to stop feeling like this."

"Have you ever tried maybe talking about it with someone? If Carrie's already asking you—"

"How do I explain I'm worried because I'm not dating my soul mate and I'm so not used to anyone being nice to humans that I'm becoming some sort of jealous harpy?"

Seth ignored the soul mate stuff because there was no way of completely solving that. He trusted her; that was the best he was going to get. She just had to get comfortable with that idea too.

"You're too cute to be a harpy. Don't worry, Nessie. We'll figure it out."

"I can't believe I find it endearing how you just think things will just work out for no discernable reason."

But even though he suspected it wasn't quite a compliment, she leaned up and kissed him gently.

"I am trying to stop. But they don't help by talking about your chest all the time."

He laughed and held her tighter. "That bothers you?"

"Of course. I can tune out what people say about me but...you? I'm the only one who should get to admire your chest."

"I'm okay as long as you're the only one who gets to touch it."

With a wicked grin she pushed him onto his back and straddled him.

"Close your eyes," she ordered. "No peeking."

Her mouth was almost too warm against his collarbone. He tried listening to her, he really did, but he wanted to watch as she made all his blood abandon his poor neglected brain.

Nessie expected as much. "You're such a cheat, Seth."

When she tried to get off him, he grabbed her around the waist, though she swatted him back. "Oh, come on, Nessie. I'm sorry. Don't—"

She was already back, scarf in hand. "You're a big cheat. Now close your eyes."

Then she leaned over, tied the scarf over his eyes and proceeded to explore him to her heart's content. He wasn't going to stop her.

Nessie came home for spring break and despite the people that kept popping into the room, they stayed in front of the television in the main room of the Cullen house. She was making some kind of point, he thought, but he was more interested in how nice it felt to have her curled against him. Besides, it's not like they could go anywhere else. He was pretty sure Rosalie wasn't going to let her out of the house.

At least by then they were more used to each other and being together. She still sometimes scowled when he talked too long to other girls but it was less frequent and he was careful to mention how special he thought she was afterwards. In return she cut back mentioning Jacob every five seconds.

It wasn't perfect, but it was close and it was easy and they were happy. What more could you want?

The sun was shining through the window, she was engrossed in the documentary they were watching and he got to run his fingers along her very hot leg. There wasn't much more a guy could ask for.

"My parents are going to take me to Egypt this summer," she murmured during the commercials. "For our family bonding time."

"That sounds like fun." He couldn't help saying, "Make sure to get a picture of your dad and mummy. Get it?"

"Cute. Do you think you might want to come? That way the four of us could...you and Daddy can talk like you used to and the two of us can spend some uninterrupted time together..."

"Do I want to come on an awesome sounding trip with my even more awesome girlfriend and her almost as awesome parents?" He grinned. "I'm considering it."

"We'd have the whole month to see some of humanity's oldest accomplishments. Just us. I want you there with me."

Cupping her darling face, he admitted, "And I wish I could come, but I can't take a month off work. Maybe two weeks, if I'm lucky, but no more than that."

She pouted—when did she not?—but for show. She understood.

"You could meet up with us, then. If you wanted."

"Cool. I'll see about getting the two weeks off."

"Only if you wanted to," she reminded him as she snuggled closer.

"Of course I do. Anything to get you all to myself."

"My parents will be there."

"Yeah, but at night they'll be too busy with each other to bother with us."

"True. Stop looking so lecherous, Seth. Carlisle's in the next room."

It's not like anyone was _in_ the room...

And Nessie didn't object to a few deep kisses, even if she was bright red when he pulled away.

"You're terrible."

"You don't mind. You find my inability to keep my hands off you charming."

"That's your word."

"Oh well. I fell in love with you thanks to your endless frowns of disapproval. You don't have to think I'm charming all the time." He couldn't help adding, "Your life would be boring if you couldn't tell me to behave all the time. Oh, look. Your show's back on."

It was a few minutes before she spoke again.

"Seth?"

He almost didn't hear her, her voice was so quiet and when he did turn to look at her she had gone so still he was a little afraid his girlfriend had gotten herself mummified while he wasn't looking.

"Yes?"

"What did you say before?"

"I can't keep my hands off you."

"After that."

"I fell in love with your disapproval."

It was only after she flinched that he truly realized what had come out of his mouth. Shit.

"I just thought it was an odd figure of speech," she said. "Never mind."

"It's not a figure of speech."

He hadn't been looking to fall in love with her—ugh. Love. It had been a while since he got his ass kicked by love and he was not really looking forward to everything that could go wrong but he hadn't figured out how anyone could _not_ fall in love with Nessie, with her big brown eyes and determination to try everything and to think everything and to fix everything that he supposed it was only natural. He hadn't thought about the words coming out of his mouth—he never did—but it didn't make them untrue, he realized quickly.

He loved her. So he told her.

She didn't look thrilled at his declaration. "There's a dead body on the television screen."

"It's vaguely romantic," he shrugged. "Nessie—"

He could have saved it. Seth was confident in his own abilities; the moment would have been fine. Except they were at the center of the Cullen house. Which wasn't good if you needed to be alone with your disappointed and pissed off girlfriend.

"Hey kids!"

While Seth normally loved Emmett (and that was a race car uniform he was wearing and how cool was that?) right that second he kind of wished Nessie's uncle would go away.

"Rose and I are going racing. You two wanna come cheer on the king of the racetrack?"

"We're sort of busy," he pointed out.

"You should go," Nessie said coldly. "I have school work to do."

In one quick motion she was off the couch and storming away without bothering to look back.

"I have to go take care of that," he quickly explained to Emmett, who was laughing too loudly to really hear.

Seth had the benefit of longer legs. Catching her was easy because she couldn't run without drawing attention and she hated doing that.

"Nessie, don't do this," he said when he was close enough to grab her. Following her up the stairs, he begged, "I didn't think—"

"I realized that," she hissed. "It's only one of the most important moments in my entire life and you didn't even think that maybe you shouldn't tell me you loved me as an afterthought!"

"Nessie—"

"I love you, too!" she shouted over her shoulder right before she slammed her bedroom door in his face. Shit.

For a second he wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do now. But no sooner had he brought his hand up to knock on the door than it creaked open to reveal her looking so miserable that his heart broke for her. So he pushed the door open fully and she let him wrap his arms around her and pull her close. She ever rested her cheek against his chest.

Jacob would have made sure everything was perfect he remembered. There would have been candle light and soft string music. Seth was an idiot.

"Did you at least mean it?"

The most hurtful part was that she wasn't even trying to be hurtful.

"Of course I did, you goose. Even if I picked a shitty moment to tell you and failed to come up with some dazzling new way of saying it, I still meant it. I really do love you. Even when you run away from me."

The misery evaporated instantly, leaving only embarrassment. "I meant it too. I'm sorry I sort of screamed it at you."

"You wanted it to be special."

"How am I supposed to tell anyone this story?"

"You could always not tell them." That wasn't an option; he had met her family after all. "Just keep it vague. When Leah told Rachel about Sam, all she said was that he said it. She didn't say where or how."

"You were spying on your sister?"

"It's in the little brother contract."

She giggled, then kissed him, all sweetness and forgiveness. It was no wonder he was in love with her. "I am sorry, Nessie. I didn't mean for it to just slip out."

"It's okay," she promised. "As long as you meant it and don't try to take it back now even though I was a little...funny."

"Okay. Good."

"Good," she agreed. Something stole across her face that suggested she was planning something evil. "If Rosalie really is gone..."

One good listen and Seth was sure Nessie's scariest aunt was no longer on the property. Chances were he wouldn't have been able to upset Nessie and live if Rosalie had been around.

"She's gone."

"Good. Come on."

He dutifully followed her out of the house, though she didn't take any of the cars like he expected her to. They instead walked to a little fairy tale cottage in the middle of the woods where her family stayed. "My parents are in South America," she needlessly reminded him when she opened the door.

That's not why he was surprised. Edward and Bella were rarely around now that Nessie had announced herself grown up, but they had never been back to the house. He wasn't sure why—he assumed Rosalie asked her to bring him to the main house, just so someone could keep an eye on them. Still, he hurried after her.

"My room's this way," she said inside. Taking his hand she pulled him deeper into the house, glancing at him over her shoulder a few times in a way that made it hard to walk. He loved that particular smile for a whole host of reasons that he shouldn't think around Edward.

"Edward and Bella have sex down the hall," she explained before pulling him through a white door. "But this is where I sleep."

It was huge, of course. Esme must have taken werewolf proportions into consideration when designing because what could one tiny girl need with all this space? The white four-poster bed was a little too Disney Princess, but there were a couple of practical uses for the bedposts so he wasn't complaining just yet.

"Do you like it?" Nessie asked.

He could only nod.

She sat down on the bed expectantly and when he sat down beside her, she spoke.

"We should have sex."

Since Seth was positive saying that he hadn't told her he loved her just to sleep with her would get him slapped, he didn't say it, though it was pretty obvious what had changed her mind. All he said was, "That was romantic."

"Don't you want to?"

For a genius, she sure knew how to ask dumb questions. "Do you want to?"

"I'm the one who brought it up." But she got defensive before he could say anything else. "You'll have intercourse with other girls but not me?"

"What—"

"Leah and Emmett let it slip. Repeatedly. Don't even try to deny it. Don't you dare insult my intelligence," she spat, eyes blazing.

"So I've had sex before—way before you. That doesn't mean I—_we_ haven't. I might not be Jacob, but give me some damn credit. I want it to be a little bit better than now."

"What's wrong with now?"

"We're fighting. And you're..."

"I'm not allowed to be nervous my fist time?"

He knew it. Not even Nahuel could go that far behind Edward and Bella's backs, even with a horny genius helping him out. Seth just couldn't believe this was the first time she had admitted it to him.

"Nessie—"

"I'm not some innocent you need to protect, you know." Great. She wasn't even talking to him anymore, she was throwing a fit at Jacob and her father and he was just going to have to sit there and take it. "Nahuel may have been a lot smaller than you but—"

"Really?"

She didn't mean it that way—he didn't even think she realized what she had implied, which made him think Leah wasn't just being a pain when she said they needed to let Nessie out more—but he couldn't help the laughing grin anyway.

"You know even I'm taller than him," she snapped, still so painfully sheltered. "But he wasn't afraid of going after what he wanted."

Okay, so Seth did not like that. He _really _did not like that.

"So call him up."

Her face wavered, broke. "I...I didn't mean—"

"I'm sorry. I just—Nessie, you need to be ready, not just to say you are for whatever stupid reason."

"It's not stupid," she muttered. "You love me, I love you—we can be together forever but I'm afraid to have sex?"

"What?"

"What?"

He choked out: "Forever?"

"We can't die. At least..." her face got whiter as she looked at him. Seth was still stuck on forever. It was just such a_ long_ word. "I can't die and you...you could choose to stay with me but you're not going to and—oh my god, Seth, how could you?"

"How could I what?"

A tear actually ran down her cheek. He was in some kind of horror movie because she wasn't letting him touch her, she was just standing up, wrapping her arms tightly around herself and crying because of him.

"You didn't have to lie. I didn't need you to—"

"I've never lied to you."

"If you loved me you'd never want to leave me."

"Who said anything about leaving you? I just—"

Forever? He couldn't imagine forever. He was a werewolf; he could barely imagine tomorrow. A hundred years from now? Fifty? Twenty? He could sort of imagine ten, if he really tried. When he did see her there it freaked him out just as much as forever had. It wasn't that he was afraid of commitment—like all the wolves he was loyal by nature and by choice. But he had no idea how to tell her any of that without promising her forever and he sure as hell wasn't going to lie to her.

"Nessie, I just hadn't thought about it. Forever. Geez. Doesn't that sound just a tiny bit intimidating to you too?"

"No." She wiped the tears away and actually considered. "Maybe. I—I love you. That's a fact. I love you so forever should...I want us to be together. Forever. Even it if is intimidating."

"I'm still stuck on the intimidating part. I...I want to want forever. Maybe. I wouldn't even try forever with anyone who wasn't you. Can't that count for something?"

The cold expression on her face melted just a little bit. "I want to want to have sex. I just...I don't know. I don't..."

This time she let him hold her.

"It's fine, Nessie. We have forever to figure all this out."

She glanced up at him, her smile warm, suddenly. "Do you ever think about what you're going to say before you say it?"

"Not really. Why?"

A quiet laugh escaped her lips. "You're adorable. So...where does that leave us right now?"

"In your bedroom."

"Cute." She sighed. "You're not happy. I know you'd rather—"

"I'd rather we wait until you're not just doing what you think you're supposed to. I want you to want...I might not be able to give you the earth moving experiences Jacob can, but can't we at least wait until it might accidentally be possible?"

"If you ever compare yourself to Jacob again, I'll scream," she sweetly threatened.

"Sorry."

"You should be. I never wanted Jacob the way I want you. Even if I still can't—you'll tell me if you get too unhappy?"

"Not going to happen. But I would tell you. And I'll try to guess when you're not happy."

"I'm sorry I'm such a freak."

"Nessie," he laughed, "Being beyond the understanding of your boyfriend is one of the most normal things you've ever done."

"There is an upside then."

"Yup."

"And we can still keep fooling around, right?"

He just laughed. Though the way she ran her fingers feather-light over his abdomen made it kind of hard to keep laughing. "Uh huh," he muttered before her too innocent face made it impossible to resist her.

"Good," she said, her breath warm against his lips. Pulling away at the last second she said, "Come on. All those Egyptian deserts left me feeling all sandy."

"Really?"

"And I need help washing it off."

Well then. Who was he to deny her?

The bathroom was connected to her bedroom. Of course. He was both impressed and annoyed at the sheer size, but settled for being turned on because Nessie locked the door behind them, leaving them stuck in a room with both a giant hot tub and a large glass shower.

Esme really must like him.

She used the steps to the tub to lessen the height difference (she was thoughtful that way, though a sore neck was a small price to pay) so it was easier for her to start undoing his jeans.

Running a hand down her back, along the dress that probably cost more than he made in a week, he wished he knew how to make every moment as simple as this, where the only thing that mattered was that they were there together (and that she needed to get his pants off). Genius that she was, she managed to push his jeans down his hips before he had even started undressing her. The thin material of her dress brushed against him and it almost got torn in two when he tensed in surprise. Oops. But it seemed fine and then it was over her head.

"Did I mentioned how hot you looked in that?" he asked as he undid her bra. And since her ear was right there...she hissed a little as a he sucked, fingers clutching at him.

"Once or twice."

"And how much hotter you look right now?"

To punctuate his words he gave one round breast a gentle tug. She whimpered, so white it made her pink nipples look even more delicious. Pink had become his new favourite colour, lately. Not that he left the pink panties on her for much longer.

But no sooner had he gotten her undressed, Nessie who was tiny delicate perfection when naked, then she was pulling him into the shower.

"Someone doesn't like being sandy," he observed as she turned on the water. Warm water quickly cascaded down around them as he grabbed the bar of soap—strawberry scented but not strong enough to give him a headache, thank you genius Cullen women—and he lathered up his hands even as the water started streaming down her dark hair and down her pale skin, trails he couldn't wait to trace.

"Seth—"

He laughed as he knelt before her and started running his hands along her ankles. "Are you sandy there?'

"Seth..."

"Here?"

Her calves were next, first the left, then the right, while she stood above him, his pale little goddess of a girlfriend with water running down her face. When he started washing behind her knees she started panting a little.

"Higher," she insisted. Higher he went. She had great thighs, thick enough to grab so she'd whimper and shift her legs apart, silently begging, a new smell competing with the strawberry soap. His hands easily moved over her hips, pulling her closer, so he could kiss her stomach, run his tongue alone the streams cascading over her, circle her navel, even lap at the water that pooled there so she'd give a breathless laugh.

She groaned when he stood up, kissing her deeply, pressing them closer, delighting at how nice it felt pressed against her stomach.

"You're not still sandy are you?" he asked as he gently cleaned her breasts, massaging each inch of skin. Her hand was already around his dick, pumping gently. She had always been keen to give back.

"I am," she whined.

"Where?"

In reply she just brought one of his hands to the heat between her thighs. Her brown eyes gazed up imploringly. "Don't I feel all sandy there to you?"

"Terrible." Her breathing hitched as he teased her, just tracing her lower lips. When she started squirming he began massaging her pussy, just so she'd moan in relief. She was panting loudly now, moving her hips, trying to find some relief. As he looked down at her, he was struck by how incredibly perfect she looked just then.

"I love you."

His hand came to her face, pushing the soaked hair away. Her eyes softened; a smile stole across her face.

"I love you, too," she whispered. They just grinned stupidly at each other for a second, enjoying it. "Mood killer."

"Ouch." Then he leaned forward and licked her throat because he knew it would make her hiss and whimper and grab at him tightly. Then he spun her around, pressing her against the cold tiles as he buried his mouth against her neck.

She started begging, arching her back, thoughtfully trying to create some friction for him even though she was so short. Later. Then he just brought his hand back between her legs, while the other explored the side of her body, the curve of her hip, her thigh, her breast, every inch of her he could touch. Nessie was a gorgeous, whimpering, writhing mess, if he did say so himself, legs spread, fingers clawing at the tile, her head tilted to the side, silently asking him to keep up the pressure on her neck as she bucked against his hand.

When she almost couldn't take it anymore, he turned her around again and picked her up. The earlier conversation had worked wonders because she no longer flinched even though she had her legs around his waist, just kissed him deeply even though she had to know all he could think about right then was how hot she would be (this woman who was actually a freak like him) and how tight.

She trusted him completely and seeing that helped him to _know,_ and that was even more terrifying than hearing her say words like love and forever. Better, too.

There really was no going back now.

He put her down and turned off the water.

"Time to dry off," he teased as she pouted.

With longer arms he grabbed the towel first, draping it over her shoulders, patting down her arms gently, then moving to her torso, over her breasts and stomach then down between her legs, where he couldn't tell what was water and what was her, just that it was too easy to touch her now. Almost impossible to stop, really.

"My turn," she ordered, taking the towel from him. She made him sit down on the edge of the tub but then she was leaning over him, her hair a tousled mess that he wanted to thread his fingers through (so he did, forcing her head down, though she wouldn't kiss him, just teased, so close but always doing what she wanted). Then she used her towel to pull him from the bathroom.

The smell was going to be a lot harder to get rid of from her bedroom and her parents might notice. Oh well. Worth it.

She climbed onto the bed (and how perfect did she look on all fours, gorgeous ass in the air, legs spread just enough?), lying back on the pillows, gesturing for him to come to her. Seth almost didn't want to because there probably had never been anything more beautiful than she was just then, with her dark eyes and swollen lips.

Then her white teeth brushed her lower lip. "Or do you just want to watch?"

And though he let her bring one hand between her legs, he did manage to say, "Not today."

She was so close that he barely had to brush her clit before she gasped, orgasm forcing the air from her in a way she would normally never allow. He couldn't decide if her moans or his second favourite Nessie face was the best part.

"There's something I want to try," she murmured when she caught her breath. He let her push him around, let her shaking arms guide him onto his back and let her kneel above him. It's not like she hadn't done this before, but he stopped trying to make sense of what she was saying and just enjoyed how unbelievably good it felt when she look him into her mouth.

There was a half a second where he realized she felt that good because she had been made for Jacob (and what the _hell _was he doing with his Alpha's imprint? That was a betrayal of everything they were) and then he just stopped caring, really, because she liked being the best at everything. That and it was hard to think when all he could see was the two of them together, him buried deep within her, so fucking hot and tight and oh fuck—

His fingers were maybe too tight in her hair, but she didn't stop, just swallowed every last drop. But when she finished licking her lips, she was scowling. Shit.

"I _knew_ you wanted to have sex."

"Nessie, you could have shown me the Volturi having a gigantic murderous orgy just then and I would have gotten off on it. It doesn't count."

Her frown faded as she realized, "I failed to control the variables in that that experiment."

He pulled her down to the bed and ran a hand along her thigh, asking, "Do you have any idea how much I like being your lab rat?"

He really liked how much she liked playing the mad scientist. The picture in his mind was very clear; someone wanted his fingers inside her and she was very insistent upon it.

So he obliged.

They fell asleep after—well, Seth fell asleep and Nessie was curled against him when he woke up. Her eyes were closed, her breathing was even. She looked tinier when she slept, with her eyes and mouth closed, no big ideas or emotions spilling out and sweeping everything else out of the way. Her hair was dry and a curly mess, he noticed to his delight and the night sky was displayed in the window.

"Hey," his groggy goddess whispered, mouth opening and closing like an adorable goldfish. "What time is it?"

"Eight," he said, glancing at the clock. "Oops."

"I am exhausting," she said with a smile.

Her mouth was warm and inviting, everything about her was inviting, so he pulled her closer. "I have an idea," he said finally. "You wanna come?"

She didn't ask any questions, but got dressed and let him bring her outside, let him pick her right up and lift her up so she was on the roof, then reached down and pulled him up. She lay down beside him and only then did she ask:

"What are we doing here, Seth?"

"Shh..." he said. "Give me a second."

It didn't take him that much longer, gazing up at the brilliant night sky. "I want you to know my love for you will last as long as there are stars in the sky and burn just as brightly. "

She laughed, her hand finding his. "That was terrible. Thank you. That was the perfect moment to tell everyone."

"As long as you don't leave out the part where we gazed into each other's eyes and you told me you loved me back."

Soft hands found his face, turning him towards her. It was like kissing a fairy, something so light and soft he had to have imagined it.

"I love you, too," she said. It could have been a joke but she said it with such sincerity (Nessie always seemed to mean everything, a thousand and ten percent) that he felt, suddenly, that forever didn't sound very long at all. Then with a beatific smile Nessie rested her head on his shoulder and gazed up at the night sky.

"That one there is the North Star," she muttered. "So those four must be the Big Dipper..."

"You ever going to stop thinking?"

"Probably not. I'm trying to figure out my favorite constellation. A girl should have a favorite constellation. I just don't know much else about astronomy."

"Those over there are the Great Bear and the Little Bear. See?" He gestured to the sky and eventually she nodded.

"Do you know any others?"

"I used to...I don't remember much. That one over there is Lyra, the harp the spirits play each night to help the stars come out."

"I've never heard that before."

"It was hard to tell what my dad picked up and what he just made up. He usually didn't know himself." Seth laughed. "I know this one's definitely real. See those four over there? In the sort of square shape? That's Seth the Slippery Salmon."

"Really?" she giggled.

"You calling my dad a liar?" he teased.

"Just waiting for you to point out Leah the Leopardfish while I enjoy looking at my new favourite constellation."

"Leah is far too mature, she'll have you know. Leah the Lioness is over there, those seven stars, the biggest constellation in the sky. Would you like to hear the story of how a Salmon and a Lioness saved the world?"

"I'd love to."

It had been a long time since he heard this story, one he had never tried to tell himself, so he mangled it in the telling, but Nessie didn't seem to mind, just kept running her thumb over the back of his a hand and laughing in the right places.

It was an epic journey for the Salmon and the Lioness, learning to trust each other along the way. "So the Salmon saved the Lioness and in gratitude she let out a mighty roar, a roar that shook the entire world. From then on everyone understood that Seth the Slippery Salmon was under the Lioness' protection. Even though they had to go back to their separate homes they never forgot each other. Good friends should never be forgotten."

He couldn't help laughing. "And then my dad would go, so the moral of the story is always tell your mother to buy us salmon."

"A good moral," Nessie agreed. When the silence crept around them, she drew closer. "Seth? Why do you never talk about your dad?"

"What's the point in talking about someone's who's always around?" She didn't get it; he hadn't expected her to. "Dad was kind of distracted a lot of the time, but he always paid attention to us. Always. He wouldn't let dying stop him."

"I see."

"Dad would have loved you," he told her. He knew it, the same way he knew which trees could hold his weight as a kid and which couldn't. Dad would have stared at Nessie for a bit then launched into a story. If there was one thing Harry Clearwater had liked it was kids who asked questions he couldn't answer so he could launch into some half-forgotten story that was in no way related.

"Really? Your mom hates me."

"She doesn't hate you...she just..." was surprised. Nessie was too damn good for him. Sue couldn't quite get over her shock. "Dad would have brought her around faster, but she'll get there."

"He really would have liked me?"

"Oh yeah. Dad liked everyone."

Even those who deserved to be hated Harry had tried to understand and excuse. As if you could. But that was his father.

"Oh, well, if he liked everyone," she laughed, "Thank you."

"I don't think he would have appreciated the sarcasm," Seth teased back. "He would have liked you. What's not to like? He always liked it when people were curious. He liked...people who liked things. People who liked life."

All the thinking about his dad made Seth admit, "I guess I don't talk about him a lot because it still hurts, most of the time. He wouldn't have wanted that. Dad was...he loved seeing people happy."

He was in a story telling mood, it seemed. He couldn't seem to shut up about stories he hadn't thought about in years, like the first time his dad took him fishing or the time they went into the forest and the two of them got lost for hours until Sue hunted them down, furious that they hadn't even noticed they were lost, or the time Leah and he had tried to cook their parents breakfast and almost burnt down the house and Harry just shrugged and took them all out for pancakes before he went home to fix the kitchen (thanking them for their thoughtfulness all the while).

"Sorry," Seth realized. "Didn't mean to ramble."

"You weren't. He sounds wonderful."

Seth knew that, but it was nice to have an objective opinion.

"Yeah. He was."

A strand of dark red hair ended up tickling his finger, so he had to wrap it around his finger. It was like silk; he couldn't quite believe it was attached to her. She all but purred against him, snuggling closer.

"I like this," she murmured against his chest. "Just...this."

"Yeah, me too."

It was amazing how easy it was, being with her.


	4. Taste

Being with him was hard.

Most things in her life (everything, if she was completely honest) were relatively effortless. That was what happened when your family had superpowers and centuries to build their fortune. So she had assumed that once they overcame Edward and Jacob everything would just fall into place and she and Seth would live happily ever after.

Maybe it had been a tad naive of her to think that, but thought that she had. They would kiss and fall in love and get married and be blissfully happy forever.

But it was a lot harder than all that.

Her family continued their policy of being overly helpful but rather uninvolved. Rosalie, she knew, was pleased she had chosen anyone-but-Jacob. Her mother, on the other hand, was just a bit devastated Jacob had been left alone once more. Bella tried not to let her daughter see, but Nessie couldn't help noticing that it was like she had picked her father's best friend over her mother's. After everything her mother had done for her, Nessie had put other people before her mother.

And she had no idea how to fix that.

She started by repairing her relationship with Jacob because that seemed like the logical place to start.

That, too, became far more difficult than before. It was still easy and effortless, being with Jacob, except now there was no pretending he wasn't an over-protective father which wouldn't have been so bad if she didn't already have _four_ of those. Five was a little suffocating.

And Seth didn't really like it when she spent too much time with Jacob.

He never said anything, just rolled his eyes when he forgot she was looking. He apologized when she called him on it, but he didn't stop. And Jacob did not help matters much by doing whatever he could to provoke her boyfriend. Or at least keep Seth on his toes. She never used to come home from their playdates smelling like Jacob.

She was stuck trying to juggle the both of them, which was not easy when they played games that kept her in the middle and confused. Even talking to Jacob about it, which in the past had been a sure way to solve all her problems, resolved nothing. In the end, she just did the best she could and if she saw Jacob much less than she used to…it's not like being friends with Jacob helped her mother understand.

Of course, Mommy said, "I just want you to be happy. And if Seth can do that…"

It was all that her mom didn't say that annoyed Nessie, who didn't like the implication that anyone who wasn't Jacob couldn't possibly be up to the job of making her happy.

But it was better listening to Bella hint that Seth wasn't worthy than to have his mother and sister say to her face that she was not.

Leah Clearwater had never liked her, except when she remember Nessie was preferable to Bella. Nessie realized over time her existence was a threat to the stability of La Push (Leah always seemed to believe that Jacob could be stolen away at a moment's notice) so Leah hated her.

But Leah's dislike because Nessie might steal her boss was nothing compared to Leah's dislike when she saw her little brother was dating a half-vampire.

Nessie had no doubt about her beauty and her brains (thank you, vampire genetics) so Leah attacked everything else with snarky comments designed to drive unwanted girls away. It was only the stubbornness she had learned from Jacob that had Nessie enduring.

"Ouch. Stay back, bloodsucker. It's a paper cut, not a come on."

"You allowed to cross the street if you're not holding his hand, kid?"

(Jacob heard that one and dragged Leah outside. "You see your little princess happy here?" she demanded. "You see her doing anything but taking off and leaving him and breaking his heart?" And Jacob told Leah to tone it down before Seth heard—and didn't tell her to stop)

"You'd think you'd be tired of having him act like a butler one of these days."

"Amazing what a guy will put up with for a hot piece of ass, isn't it?"

(Not he was getting even that perk. At this point, she had put off having sex for so long there was the small problem that she was going to be terrible at it. She didn't want to disappoint him—so avoiding sex forever seemed like a good plan)

It was only when Leah forgot her brother had better ears than her that Seth found out. And he had not been happy. Not at all. Nessie normally would have preferred a resolution that didn't involve yelling, but she was too glad to hear Leah agree to stop that she didn't mind.

"Why in the world would you put up with that?" he demanded afterwards, expression still stormy.

She showed him how awful it would be for him, to be caught between the werewolves and the vampires, his family and her—Seth didn't even let her finish, just rolled his eyes and shook his head. "It's not like that, Nessie. My sister has no damn right—she says _anything _like that to you again and you better tell me."

"Fine. I'll tell you."

Thankfully, Leah toned it down to comments that could be misinterpreted as compliments (or just vague statements) so Nessie managed to leave her boyfriend out of it.

Sue Clearwater was a trickier proposition; she was unimpressed with her son's new girlfriend but then Sue was rather unimpressed with the world in general and her son's girlfriends in particular. She was polite—but nothing more.

"She likes you just fine," Seth said when she complained. "I'm quoting here."

"That's not exactly a glowing commendation."

"It's not hatred, either."

But she was Rensesmee Carlie Cullen, half-human, half-vampire miracle child. People did not merely tolerate her.

They worshipped her.

After months puzzling over everything, there was only one solution that she could think of.

She asked Sue.

"Why don't you like me? And what can I do to change that?"

Sue didn't even look up from the vegetables that she was chopping. "Hand me that knife, child?"

Nessie did, knowing that some people just didn't like to be rushed. And eventually Sue replied: "There's nothing you can do."

"Unacceptable."

The tiniest of smiles appeared on Sue's face. Perhaps that was what prompted her to speak.

"I always knew I would lose him. I only asked two things, really, two small things to make losing him bearable. One, she had to appreciate how lucky she was. And two, she had to be strong enough to protect him."

Is that how people saw her? So sure, so wrong? The experience did Nessie no end of good though she only half understood it.

All she said was, "I do know how lucky I am. And any one stronger than I am would have to be a full vampire and incapable of producing grandchildren. Ever."

Not that Nessie planned to have kids for another two hundred years, if that, but the reminder of the cherished grandchildren and taking her words literally had a strange effect on Sue. The older woman laughed before ordering her to get a bowl.

It still wasn't much, but sheer perseverance had Sue allowing her to share the woman's son. She let Nessie listen to the stories and corrected her Quileute and was a general nuisance, so Nessie was pleased with her own work.

Even if she laughed every time she thought about Seth needing protection—he needed that even less than Jacob who she still saw as invincible. Seth was Seth, in some eternal, immutable way. Nessie didn't understand it, she was jealous of it most of the time, but she recognized it and didn't see how anything could ever change it. She understood it was precious, of course she did, she loved him so much; she just didn't understand how Sue failed to see that her son had inherited more from her than an appreciation for Swan silences.

People, Nessie concluded, were very funny.

"So your mother is going to teach me how to skin a rabbit," Nessie told him as they walked along First Beach, hand in hand, enjoying finally being in the same town after all this time. The summer was going by too quickly, but only because it was so wonderful.

"You can tell her to back off."

"Why would I want to do that? I practically had to beg her to let me do this." That was an exaggeration; Sue had capitulated easily, pleased Nessie wanted to learn.

"It was just a reminder that you're dating me, not her. Don't let her make you do things."

"I enjoy it. Honest, Seth. Your mother…well, she still scares me but she's a very interesting woman and we both agree that you're rather adorable and would be lost without us so don't worry."

He laughed, the sound booming across the water. "All right. But if she starts sending you my birthday presents we will have to have words. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

They stopped at the water's edge; Seth dropped to the sand, pulling her down onto his lap. It should have been infantilizing, she supposed, but she liked sitting on his lap. His arms around her made her feel safe and it gave him wonderful access to her neck (and if they were alone, other parts of her as well). On the beach, it also allowed him to spare her dress from the sand.

"Did I tell you your dad brought up Dartmouth again?" he said against her ear.

Her father had never approved of her go-to-the-University-of-Washington-to-stay-near-Jacob plan and since she had refused a future with Jacob Daddy was eager for her to go to an even more prestigious school (his alma mater, for example).

Seth continued: "I thought you wanted to go to Yale."

Only Seth would ignore just how many thousands of miles both schools were from him to talk about which one she wanted to go to.

"I like where I am right now," she whispered as she played with his hands. He had beautiful hands, though they looked funny next to her own, almost twice as big, rough and dark and yet somehow much more graceful than she could ever manage.

"We'd figure it out."

"No, I'd go off to do what I wanted and you'd adjust accordingly. Does that seem at all fair to you?"

"You stuck someplace you don't want to be—"

"I do want to be here."

"Even though Yale has the best…whatever it was in the country?"

"I'm not going."

"Nessie—"

"Drop it before I start thinking you want me to move across the country."

"I do want you to move across the country," he said, not even realizing how hurtful it could be, "If you'd rather got to Yale."

"I couldn't be happy there, okay? I couldn't…" There was no sense in pretending otherwise, so she didn't bother. She told the truth. "I'd be miserable without you. So just drop it. Please?"

"Fine," he agreed. "You want to come fishing with Charlie and me tomorrow?"

Unfortunately, that was not the end of it. Father knew best, after all.

Even while she resented the implication that she couldn't make up her own mind, Nessie admitted she couldn't stop thinking about Yale. She had never planned to spend four years at the University of Washington; when Jacob finally stopped being stubborn she had planned to transfer, using the correspondence credits she had amassed during her years at home to enter the medical program she desired. While she explained it as an unwillingness not to leave the friends she had made, Nessie knew she wasn't fooling anyone. She was still in Seattle because Seth was in Washington. Most of her family thought it was sweet, the way she couldn't leave him.

Edward really wanted her to go to Dartmouth. And he wasn't hesitant about recruiting _everyone_ to his crusade.

At one of the pack gatherings, Nessie found herself talking to Rachel about schools, being given Edward's Ivy League speech almost word for word. It was disconcerting. Still, she stayed for the whole thing. At least Rachel was talking to her.

Nessie had never been welcome to the La Push events when Jacob wasn't at her side scowling for the others to be nice and things had gotten worse since she had openly started seeing Seth. There was a pretence of civility but no more—they would not be her friends.

She had even noticed they were rather cold towards Seth. Not that she thought the other wolves hated him, just that their union was considered some sort of abomination. If anything, Jacob was the only one who still treated the two of them the same (Nessie was the little girl he doted on; Seth was the young wolf pup that annoyed him but that he still valued above almost all others). She didn't dare ask Seth about it, unsure if his silence meant he hadn't noticed or simply refused to be bothered by it.

Either way, she hated that she was coming between him and his friends.

Perhaps that was why she had been so receptive to Rachel's questions and comments—maybe if she wasn't so close by they wouldn't hate him as much for caring about her.

"Could you tell Edward to stop interfering?" she asked as he walked her home. It was easier to drive, but he liked being outside and she just liked spending time alone with him. "I know he won't listen to me, but he might listen to you."

"Interfering?"

"Rachel suddenly cares about my future? She didn't care about my future when I was destined for her brother. I doubt she changed her mind now that I've started to see you."

"That was my fault." Of course he defended her father. "I mentioned you could be going to Yale and she got all excited. Your dad has other plans."

"Such as?"

He just smiled at her. "That would spoil the power point."

At least he was getting along with her father again. She would allow them to conspire against her as long as they continued getting along.

"Rachel is only excited because she wouldn't be the one leaving you behind."

"We managed a whole year in different cities."

"Right now we see each other once or twice a week, Seth. If I got to Yale, we'd see each other only on holidays."

"If that's what you're worried about, don't be. It would work out," he shrugged.

Long-term planning was not his strong suit. He just thought up things and hoped and usually got lucky. But given how lucky the two of them had been in the past she was disinclined to trust that. It was the law of averages—eventually something terrible would happen.

"I'm not leaving you. Unless...would your friends start treating you better if I left?"

"What?"

"Seth, they don't—they aren't happy when they see us together."

"They're fine with it," he lied.

"It bothers them that I'm part vampire." Seth couldn't protest that as much as he wanted to. "Does it…does it ever bother you?"

"No," he said so frankly she couldn't have doubted it, even if she wanted to. "It's kind of hot how much you like it when I kiss your neck."

"Shut up," she giggled. "I like it better when I'm kissing yours."

"Do you ever…if you wanted to try actually biting me—"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"What's wrong with my blood?"

She knew he was teasing her; that's what he did. But at the same time, she was so embarrassed she couldn't help take everything seriously.

"I don't need blood to survive. Ergo, I shouldn't be drinking it from humans."

"I'm not human. And if you ever wanted to _try_, I'm game. Anytime. As long as it's my blood. You suck some other guy's blood and I might get a little cranky."

He was so remarkably nonchalant about the whole thing she wanted to cry. Or kiss him. She settled for reminding him how much she loved him. He loved her back, he said. Then he asked:

"Does it bother you that I'm a werewolf?"

If he wasn't a werewolf, she would have to watch him die.

"Only in the sense that your pack doesn't like me."

"They just…you're not like the other girls."

"Does it…does it ever bother you that I'm not Quileute?" At the pack gatherings she always stuck out and not just because Alice had a designer fetish.

"Does it bother you that I am?"

If he wasn't, he wouldn't be Seth.

"Only in the sense that your entire tribe doesn't like me."

He laughed, squeezing her hand. "Ness, I don't know why they don't adore you the way I do. It doesn't change anything. I've found someone who makes me happy and they will learn how to deal with it." He pulled her into his arms, leaning over until his nose was touching hers. She closed her eyes, loving the way he loved her. "They're in shock, a little bit, but they still…they're still happy for us underneath it. Trust me, okay?"

"They're your friends," she capitulated. If he was willing to risk them…which made her all the more determined not to leave him. "But Rachel needs to stay out of everything."

He laughed and kissed her until she was glad it was late and dark and that he had such nice hands.

In Egypt, Edward introduced her to every Dartmouth graduate in the country and only stopped when her mother saw that Nessie was about to cry.

"He was just trying to make sure you were happy," Bella promised.

"But I...I don't know." She sighed, "I thought it would get easier."

She couldn't help glaring at her parents a little bit for not teaching her that it just stayed confusing and complicated instead of getting all magically solved. It would have been nice to be prepared.

Her mother just smiled.

Her parents retired to their room (on the opposite side of the hotel) for the night and Seth was resting his head in her lap. He had fallen asleep almost instantly. Now she got to enjoy how thick his hair was, when she ran her fingers through it. It used to be below his shoulders, he told her once, but she knew the only time she would ever see it that way was if he stopped phasing—she was all for the short hair.

The night sky would not give her any answers—though seeing her favorite constellation just made her lean down to kiss him awake.

"Why do you want me to leave you?" she asked.

He hadn't brought it up himself since she told him to drop it, but she could tell he was cheering for Edward to succeed. She knew he loved her, so why would he want her to go?

He sighed and sat up; he crossed his legs so he was facing her on the bench. Then he took her hand and was actually serious for a change.

"You want to go and I can't stand the idea that I'm holding you back."

"I don't think that."

"Now. I know you think I can't think ahead—and you're mostly right—but I can't stop thinking that in a hundred years the only thing you'll remember about right now is that you wanted to go to Yale and I stopped you. I don't want to be responsible for that."

"Seth…" But she didn't know what to say because she saw the logic in what he was saying, even if she didn't want to leave him.

"If this thing between us really is meant to be, then what's a few years for you to go to school right the first time? And if it's not, then you shouldn't throw away everything for some guy you're not going to stick with."

"You're not _some guy,_" she rolled her eyes.

"Then go to Yale."

So she went to Yale.

Of course her parents had already set up the transfer (to six different schools, actually, but she didn't ask). Most things in her life were as easy as opening her mouth—actually, all she usually had to do was think she wanted something. So it didn't surprise her in the slightest that she could just switch into the medical school of one of the most prestigious universities in the country just because she felt like it.

Seth managed to get two days off, supposedly to help her move in, but her family was coming up the next day to help and they didn't dare do anything but survey the empty rooms where her family would set up her furniture.

"I guess we're just going to have to go out and explore our new territory," he said.

She laughed and let him take her hand and pull her into the streets of New Haven, ready to take a look around her new home. He made her eat hot dogs from the street vendor, but otherwise she was in charge, using the map to explore everything she had been told to visit. He didn't mind, just kissed her at each new place they went to.

Her family was coming tomorrow and he would leave with them and then she wouldn't see him until Christmas. They were fairly adept at having conversations over the phone, but she knew he wasn't completely comfortable with not being able to touch her and smell her and taste her and feel her whenever he felt like it. It would be hard on him, which meant it would be hard on them.

She did not want that to happen.

When he caught her yawning, he said, "We should head back. You're parents will be here far too early tomorrow. You wanna stop someplace and get yourself an air mattress?"

"I have a better idea." It helped that the hotel was just behind him—it was practically ordained. "Come on."

He said nothing as she handed the credit card over to the concierge. Thank goodness he believed in communal wealth. Getting Jacob to let her pay for things had always been a headache as a child. It didn't seem to have occurred to Seth that letting her pay for everything was a threat to his masculinity; he understood she had money and he didn't and that was that. Plus he was too busy chatting with the recently arrived couple behind them to pay attention to what she was doing.

When they got to the elevator, he did say, "It would have been cheaper to get an air mattress."

"It was only a couple hundred dollars."

He laughed, pressing her against the elevator wall, arms encircling her. "It's worth that much to get me alone?"

"Worth more than that. And you don't have a choice."

"That's my adorable little dictator."

She flushed, but he didn't notice, already distracted by the elevator buttons.

The room was nice and cozy, she thought. The view was gorgeous, framed by the floor length curtains. The rich dark wood gave the room a rather homey feel…and she was staring at the walls because she hadn't thought the king sized bed would be _that_ conspicuous in the middle of the room.

The fluffy white bedspread seemed to stretch for miles. The bed that looked like it was made from clouds was the reason she had been willing to spend all that money. The more she thought about leaving him the more she realized she didn't want to. She finally came to the conclusion she didn't care what happened as long as he kept loving her.

She just wished the bed wasn't so obvious.

Fortunately, Seth just threw himself down on top of the bed without comment and began playing with the television remote. "Wicked," he breathed, as he found the game.

She giggled. Then he asked her, "How's the bathroom?"

"Should come with a marble bath."

He winked at her, so she sat down behind him on the bed, wrapping her arms around his neck. He was always so warm. "Is this okay?" she whispered against his ear.

In response he turned his attention from the game, pushing her down on the bedspread that felt like heaven, gazing down at her with obvious affection. Ever distracted, he moved her hair so it was fanned out around her. Once his picture was complete he settled his hand on her hip, thumb being terribly distracting even though it was just drawing a tiny circle there.

It was incredible. All he was doing was lying beside her and he was making her feel…well, she was always safe and she was always adored and she always had everything, but it was just so nice to just be simply happy like this.

"It'll do," he shrugged.

She giggled and then pulled him down for a long, deep kiss, even if she kept her thoughts to herself this time. It wasn't a time for cheating. Even if she sucked at this sort of thing (both explaining things and articulating her own desires). But if she couldn't say this to him, then who was she ever going to be able to say it to?

Her fingers stroked his cheek as she tried to work up her nerve. "I…"

"I love you, too," he promised, kissing her nose lightly. "All your ridiculous self."

His kiss felt almost chaste this time. Not exactly what she wanted, even if the affection she could practically feel radiating off of him gave her the courage to finally say it.

"The idea of being without you for the next little while, even if it's just temporary, is horrific," she began with a shaky breath or five. "But the idea of you leaving here without…I can't stand the thought of that. I need to be with you. I…I want to be with you."

She hadn't meant to curl her leg around his hip, but it seemed her body had a mind of its own. The action surprised her, but she didn't move either. She liked how it felt and how he held her there firmly.

"Ness…" He gazed at her while she tried not to blush even worse than she was already doing. "It _is_ just temporary. You're coming back to me. Or I will pout like you wouldn't believe."

"I know," she replied simply. His fingers brushed through her hair as she smiled up at him and admitted, "But I kind of don't want to wait until then."

"You always were impatient."

"Just...please don't mind too much if I suck at it?"

He laughed in her face.

"You're, like, the most adorable thing ever," he declared as he lowered his head, bringing them together one more time. It was like swimming in a heated pool. Calm seemed to flow from him to her, until every moment seemed languid and slow and perfect.

His stomach decided to speak up then. How impolite of her.

"Sorry," she muttered. "I forgot. Shall we get room service?"

"Sure," he grinned as he rolled off of her. The way he watched her made her feel precious—it almost made her skip around the room to find the room service menu.

Since they were already spending a fortune (and tomorrow she would feel guilty about it, about having so much more than everyone else, but for one night she was going to just enjoy how perfect her life was) she ordered him every desert on the menu and then a few hamburgers, just in case.

He went back to watching the television, so she settled on top of his back and played with his hair, enjoying the way the whole world shook when he laughed.

"I'm not too heavy, am I?"

That made him laugh some more. "Whatever you say."

Since the only sport she really liked watching was baseball, she started nibbling on his ear. And playing with his hair. And generally making a nuisance of herself until the food was brought to them.

"What?" she asked as she pushed the food beside the bed after paying for everything.

If anything, his smile got wider. "How can you be hotter than all that food?"

She couldn't think of anything to do but stick out her tongue. "What do you want first? Oh. Check out the mini ketchup bottles. I can't believe we need ketchup in bottles this small."

"Travel sized," he observed.

"But we're not going anywhere."

Sitting cross-legged beside him on the bed she began picking at her hamburger as he started devouring the rest of the cart. Werewolf eating habits really were most fascinating…as was the way he was licking the ketchup off his fingers.

He caught her looking (stupid werewolf instincts) and his grin made her blush. If only her stomach would settle down. She decided to let him have the rest of the burger and started on the chocolate sundae before it melted.

"You're going to make a mess," she observed as he picked up the rest of her burger.

"I'll live."

But no sooner had he dismissed her concerns than a glob of ketchup fell on his shirt.

"Told you so," she chirped.

"Cute," he complained. After removing most of the stain, he just shrugged. "Oh well. I'm sure they provide clothes here."

"Probably just a bathrobe."

Not that she was going to complain, because he shrugged off his shirt. Good.

"You look more like you now," she observed.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment." Then he leaned over and kissed her ever-so-lightly on the corner of her mouth. Breathe, she reminded herself. "You had fudge there. You know I can't resist chocolate."

"Uh huh."

She didn't mean to let the ice cream drip down her chin, but he had moved on to licking her pulse point and she couldn't concentrate on anything when he did that. His mouth was far too warm as he licked the chocolate from her.

She did mean to drop the next bit of syrup on her chest, however.

"Oops."

"Chocolate covered Nessie," he murmured to himself. "Tell me that isn't the hottest thing you can think of?"

"Shut—oh."

This time he wasn't content to merely clean off the chocolate. No, this time he had to make sure there was nothing left behind, sucking at the skin right above her neckline, warmth spreading through her entire body as she tried not to shake.

When he finished, she just stuck her finger into the sundae and placed a dollop of ice cream on the top of her other breast.

"I guess I got klutzy," she said as he lowered his head again. Her nipples had tightened painfully as he nipped her skin ever so lightly. She arched her body up—she liked being helpful after all—and was delighted to find his fingers were undoing the zipper at the back of her dress. It was one of Alice's better designs; once the zipper was undone the material slipped down her shoulders easily.

He placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder then started nuzzling her neck as she pushed the rest of the dress to her hips.

"Lean back," he murmured. "And give me that."

"You're stealing my ice cream?"

"Yup."

Then he pushed her back, making her laugh. The bed welcomed her like an old friend, though the cold dessert on her sensitive skin distracted her attention from the furniture rather quickly. Goose pimples appeared on her flesh, but the heat from Seth's mouth made her moan aloud. There was too much feeling on her poor breasts.

"Yum."

He made sure she was perfectly clean before he started on her left side, this time adding just a touch of whip cream on top of the ice cream.

"Pig."

He just laughed and went back to torturing her.

She kept arching up to offer herself more fully to him as he dribbled chocolate sauce and ice cream all over her stomach. The cold alone was making her pant, body alert to his tricks now and eager for his mouth to come along.

"Watch the dress," she managed to say. It was an Alice Cullen original, after all. "But don't stop," she had to beg when he sat up.

"Someone's impatient," he laughed, tugging the dress off her carefully and completely. He was a little less careful with her panties, but at least she wouldn't ruin her clothes now. Yes, she was just thinking of her clothes and not all the things he could do to her now that she wasn't wearing them.

"Don't move," he warned her. "I don't want to make a mess."

"Then stop using me as a plate."

"World's hottest plate."

Then he started spreading the ice cream between her breasts, down her stomach, spreading out at the bottom. "Are you…drawing an arrow?"

His 'who me?' expression didn't fool her for a second. Seth was far too adorable for words. Before she could scold him for being a giant child, he put the finish touch on his design. Kneeling above her, gazing down at her in obvious admiration, he declared: "Beautiful."

Then he placed one gentle kiss just below the ice cream, in the small clean expanse of skin that was just above where she really needed him to be kissing.

Even with the scent of chocolate and burgers and too much ketchup in the air, it must have been obvious to him how much she was enjoying playing the canvas. In fact, he laid his head on her thigh for a moment, just breathing her in, drawing something on the inside of her thigh that had her adjust her legs further apart.

"Sorry," he said as he sat up, almost as if he was just waking to the world again.

"I don't mind. You can stay there."

But he didn't listen, just he moved back between her breasts. He took his sweet time, not caring that she was freezing, or burning up, or about to die if he didn't do something about the way her body was focused entirely on him. No, he was more interested in the taste of chocolate along her abdomen—so she had no choice but to grip his hair and start tugging his head down.

"Patience," he scolded, a hint of syrup on his chin that she wanted to kiss way. "We have all night."

"You can't make me wait all night."

That grin was not reassuring.

"You wouldn't."

"We have forever."

Her heart was hammering, desperate to escape her chest it seemed, but he was talking to her stomach so she couldn't read the expression on his face. Did she really need to? It was a joke, a throwaway comment—but Seth didn't say things he didn't mean, either. So she closed her eyes, let the smile drift over her face, and let him enjoy his desert.

When he got to the skin just below her navel she ran into some problems keeping her legs still, so he shifted so his thighs were on either side of her legs, too warm and solid and she wanted them to stop forcing her legs together. As much as the squirming was helping, it wasn't nearly enough.

"There," he announced. "All clean."

"Now can we—"

"Hold on," he interrupted, climbing off her and the bed and going back to the food cart. Dipping one of the napkins into one of the forgotten glasses of water, he came back to clean her off. "I don't want you sticky later."

And she wanted to argue, really, but the ice water against her flushed skin was worse than the ice cream had been. Because through the thin paper Seth was gently massaging her skin, tricking each muscle into relaxing, even though what she really wanted…

"Could you take over for a bit?" he asked, holding out the napkin.

"What?"

She accepted it anyway, too distracted by his kiss to say anything, just leaned into him, moaning against him when she felt his hand back against her thighs. Eagerly parting her legs, she waited for him to finally touch her.

"I want you to promise me something," he whispered, hot breath on her ear.

All that came out was a whimper.

"You have to keep looking at me. Okay?"

"As if I could stop," she managed.

So he lowered his lips and she was so distracted by him and the cloth she was rubbing against her sensitized tits that she didn't notice what his hand was doing until she felt his fingers bury themselves inside her.

The feeling of fullness made her shake. It was different than it usually was, made her gasp in shock at being stretched like that.

"What—hmmm…" she decided against thinking for the next little while. "Yes, please."

"You like?"

But all she could do was moan in agreement.

Every movement of his hands brought her closer to the elusive ideal, freedom from her aching body and desperate fresh, something larger than even her infinite thoughts. The feeling in her body became all that mattered, nearing completeness as he filled her, touched her in the most intimate part of her until she was coming around his hand, words failing her completely.

Slowly, he pulled out from her, hand on her already wet thigh, leaving her feeling bereft. And a little sorer than usual—but that's what vampire healing was for.

"That was a nice warm up," she said brushing her nose against his cheek. This was probably her favourite part, where she felt so close to him it was almost like they were the same person. "But since you've already had desert, shouldn't you start in on the main course?"

"But I've always kind of had a thing for appetizers."

"Seth..."

Her giggle faded as he slipped off the bed. Where was he going now?

With one easy tug he pulled her until she was on the edge of the bed. She would have protested, really, but it was kind of nice having him kneel between her legs, mouth on the sensitive skin near her knee.

"Seth, come here."

"But I'm still hungry."

His mouth was on her thighs now and all her very reasonable arguments for why he should not do that disappeared. As he kissed his way up her leg, he wondered, "Do you have any idea how good you taste?"

She almost impaled him with her heel when he finally gave her pussy one long lick.

Her apology was drowned out by the sound of ripping leather. Her poor shoe.

"Shit. Sorry. Uh—"

"It's fine Seth," she said, using her foot to guide him back between her legs. "I can buy new ones."

To prove the point, she ripped the remaining shoe off her other foot. That made him laugh and he got back to the much more important work of eating her out.

"Come here," she begged again but he didn't stop. Since he wasn't going to play fair neither was she. Her thigh was against his bare shoulder and that was all the skin contact she needed.

They were in the forest, only the trees and the sky above them. Around them were the trees he knew as well as she knew her books, protecting them from the outside world. The gentle breeze blew the salt of the ocean through the clearing. And it was silent save for the sounds of the other animals retreating as they left the forest's most dangerous predators alone and the music they made together.

Seth was lying in the earth, the earth he loved more than he loved her, and she was above him the way she knew he'd love (but also because she didn't like the thought of getting dirt on her person—this was for him, so she figured it couldn't hurt to be a little unrealistic). She imagined what it would be like, if he would just stop his assault on her pussy and come to her, the two of them together the way two people in love were supposed to be.

One.

His hands would leave dirt on her skin as he cupped her breasts. Seth liked that—in reality she could hear a zipper undoing as he let himself enjoy the fantasy. Maybe the markings on her skin, the dark earth streaking her pale chest, meant to him what the red lines on his chest meant to her. Where she had braced her hands her nails would scratch, the blood rushing so close to the surface that she could hear it screaming in her ears, telling everyone that he was hers.

Why was she making do with a fantasy?

"Seth, stop that."

But he ignored her.

"Stop that right now and get up here and fuck me."

Well. It was _true._

Seth did stop, blinked, then grinned wider than she had ever seen before. "What was that?"

"And take off your pants first."

He stood up, pants already undone, and let them fall to the floor. Just the sight of him was enough to get her heart pounding. There really was nothing in the world that could compare. He was all hard lines and sculpted muscle, thick thighs and huge hands and a slender waist that meant she had no choice, really, to be staring at his dick. And since she was not thinking anymore, she did not wonder about the physics of it all, even though he was big and she was small and—they would figure it out.

"Now come here."

Nessie made herself more comfortable on the pillows behind her, knowing that it was finally time. And she wasn't nervous, not really, well, not mostly, anyways—she did manage a smile when he lay on his side beside her.

"Am I allowed to ask a question first?" he asked as she turned to him.

She rolled her eyes but allowed it. The grin kept making her stomach tighten in strange ways.

His tongue traced the shell of her ear before he whispered: "You wanna be on top?"

Yes, her non-thinking brain almost automatically responded. Of course she wanted him underneath her, of course she wanted to control all the variables, of course she wanted to do everything she could to make him feel the way he could make her feel (of course she just wanted to make him beg). But, unfortunately, it just didn't seem very traditional.

So she shook her head and he nodded, because he had expected that response. "Remember what you promised," he said as he knelt between her legs. This time she wrapped her legs around his waist without hesitation as she kissed him deeply. Holding his eyes, she smiled, reaching between them.

He froze. "Do we need some sort of pro—?"

"No. Your immune system—"

"Save the biology lesson."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"I love you more when you're breathing," he reminded her gently. "Breath, Nessie. Breath."

She nodded, finding reassurance in the dark brown eyes, even if she couldn't seem to get her lungs to listen. It wasn't that she was hesitant or unsure just a little at loss without a point of experience remotely close to what was going to happen next. But she lifted her hips slightly, urging him on. With one last kiss he reassured her as best he could then—

Well.

Interesting.

He was panting slightly, muttering curses under his breath that she could barely make out, watching her carefully. It wasn't over, not yet, she knew as much, but Seth seemed a little afraid to move. Oh. Maybe she should exhale.

That helped him, because his hips moved and then she felt his pelvis against her and deep inside her she could feel him, especially the heat of him, her body on fire and he was the source. Nessie figured it was official now. She really wasn't a virgin.

It was more uncomfortable than even having his fingers inside her was, her body unused to the sensation. But vampire healing helped, she figured. Really, it was kind of disappointing how little it hurt. Something sharper might have been nice, so she could be sure that it had really happened.

Thankfully Seth was not privy to her inner tantrum, just withdrew a little and the pushed back into her. His eyes were glued to her face, worse than they usually were, watching for pain, she figured. So she put on a teasing grin instead.

"Is that all you've got?"

He groaned. It was much nicer when he was like this, when his chest was so close to her own, when they were together. She could feel the sound echoing inside her.

"Please," he growled, "Not this time. Not when…you have no idea how hot you are, do you?"

"You always find me attractive."

This time his hips moved rather forcefully, knocking the breath right out of her.

"It's like you were made for me," he murmured.

It was only then that she noticed the way he was clutching at the sheets beside her head. Bringing up everything she knew about their respective body temperatures probably wasn't the most romantic idea, so she tried something else.

"I was," she promised. "Body and soul and all my reincarnations."

"And you don't believe in any of that."

But he was moving within her now, still slowly, but a bit roughly and so firmly the air rushed out of her lungs each time like she was some kind of whore. Still, she kind of liked the sound. Even if it made replying impossible.

She believed she loved him. No, she knew that, knew that with more certainty than she had ever known anything (and she was always sure).

She loved him.

It was the only thought she seemed to have in her brain anymore, 'I love you' echoing inside of her now empty head. All she could think was that she had to keep touching him, had to keep running her hands over his shoulders or arms or neck or back or something. As the heat between them built until she couldn't stand it, until she wanted to beg him for something she didn't even know how to describe, she just knew she had to keep touching him.

When he buried his lips against her neck she could feel that it was different (mostly because she wasn't moaning quite so loudly anymore, just shaking faster) but that felt nice, too. Maybe she should do something more, but she couldn't quite figure it out when his lips were burning against her neck.

It made her feel almost _too_ good, as she watched the vein in his neck twitch. He was gasping her name into her hair, telling her he had never felt anyone so good in his life as the vein throbbed in time to his thrusting hips—her fangs sank into his neck.

yes...

Seth tasted better than every animal she had ever tried, the blood bags Carlisle let her try, the blood Nahuel had once given her. Pulsating blood meant life and this was life the way she always wanted to live it. Fresh and powerful and Seth (optimistic and stubborn and sure and cheerful beyond all reason and oh did she love him for it).

His blood rushing through her made her lose it, whimpering and thrashing, refusing to give up her grip on his neck even as the rest of her body stopped obeying her commands. Even when he slammed into her harder than before it couldn't distract her from the sheer pleasure overwhelming her body. In fact, it just seemed to make everything worse, everything warmer than before as he went faster and said things and growled on top of her trembling body. It was as if a whole new world had opened up before them and he was laughing as he pulled her through.

Hmmm…so that was sex.

Eventually—minutes? Days?—she withdrew her teeth, licking the wound until it was healed to her satisfaction. Thank goodness for werewolf healing. Though he was keeping his weight off her, it was only when she finally withdrew her mouth for good that he rolled off of her properly.

"I didn't..." She turned on her side so she could study his face while he lay on his back, searching for signs of disgust or pain. "Did I hurt you?"

Seth seemed surprised for a second, then thoughtful as he actually considered. At least he shook his head.

"It just stings a little. I'll be fine."

"Good. I didn't mean to. I just..."

"You hear me complaining, Nessie? I know you liked it. I loved how much you liked it." She tentatively returned his smile. "It was totally worth it. I told you to, remember? You can do it again."

Swallowing was difficult, but she managed to choke out: "Good."

"Did I hurt you?"

"It just stings a little. I'll be fine."

When she sat up she felt sore between her legs, just a bit, but it didn't hurt. The discomfort was bearable. But when she glanced at the pristine white comforter, all she saw was some very wet fabric.

"There's no blood."

Seth shrugged. "You have gone through combat training with both Jacob and Jasper. Give your poor body a break, Nessie. We got blood on the sheets anyhow."

Oops.

Seeing the stain near the pillows, she brought a hand up to her cheek, realizing she had been a bit of a messy eater. She quickly licked the blood off her cheek, where it must have dribbled down, and from around her lips.

"Good," Seth said eventually, tugging her down on top of him. This time it felt different, having his naked body underneath hers. It felt almost like it was hers too—maybe she had been around the werewolves too long, but she felt that he was hers now in a way no one could ever take away. He kissed her for a second, but pulled away quickly.

"Sorry," he hurried to say, "But as much as I like you and the blood sucking, the taste does nothing for me."

"I hope you left some of the ice cream for me."

The ice cream was a melted puddle by this point, but she downed a bit of the liquid just to clean out her mouth. It tasted fine even if it was melted.

Seth was sitting up on the bed beside her, running a hand over her thigh and knee and down her shin before he settled for playing with her toes. Giggling, she leaned against him, let his arm wrap around her. His eyes were so loving she couldn't help but blush, so she covered by playing with his free hand, kissing the beloved finger tips.

"You know…" she mused, "I mean, I liked it. I...I want to do it again, if you don't mind?"

"I'll get back to you on that," he teased.

"But really...I still don't understand why you'd want to have sex twelve hours a day, seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year."

"Who—oh. Your parents really have that much sex?"

"Of course."

"Shit. Edward really is a god."

Nessie rolled her eyes. "I still don't understand why they can't go one night without..."

Seth could only shrug.

They grinned at each other for a long while. Nessie had never seen him so still in his life, but she kind of liked this side of Seth, too. She really liked that most people didn't get to see it. Behind all the unbridled enthusiasm was an almost stoic certainty, faith in something she still didn't understand that allowed him to know that everything was simple and easy even when there was absolutely no logical reason for it to be so.

With just a grin Seth made her feel like maybe all the adoration heaped on her wasn't completely undeserved. Maybe she could bring more than danger and destruction to those she held most dear. No—there was no maybe. She could; she did. Whatever tensions still existed between werewolves and vampires she _had _united them.

They would make it work.

"I can't believe you waited until just before to ask if we needed protection," she muttered sometime later.

He shrugged. "You would have had it covered."

"True."

His immune system was far too powerful for him to catch anything, so it wasn't as if they had to worry about transmission. And since she wasn't fertile for another three months everything should be fine. That was fortunate, since human birth control pills wouldn't work on her and the birth rate in La Push suggested the werewolves didn't have much luck with them either.

"And you're thinking again," he murmured into her ear.

"I'm always thinking."

"True. It's one of the many reasons I love you. What is it this time?"

"You promise we'll talk every other night at the very least?"

And she hated how young she sounded just then.

"I promise, you goose," he said before he kissed her again. "We'll talk so much you'll be sick of me. And you'll come back for thanksgiving and then it'll be Christmas and…"

It was four years. She might have been a genius, but medical school took four years. How in the world was she supposed to be without him for four years?

"It'll work out," he promised.

And she was in love so she believed him.


	5. Sound

A/N: Sorry about the delay. I finally wrote this, only to have my computer die. This isn't really the sort of chapter you edit in public so...delay. Hope you enjoy it.

* * *

Nessie was always right—Seth's life would be easier (and happier) if he could just remember that tiny fact. When she said having her move across the damn country would make everything between them far too difficult, he should have listened.

But he had been worried about the regrets she might have later so he only saw one problem at a time (he wasn't great with multi-tasking). He just knew he had to get her out of there before she resented him for making her stay. He hadn't realized that without her around...his life was pretty damn boring. Everything was just...blah. Work was still fun, patrol was still exciting...but telling her about it on the phone afterwards was kind of lousy. It almost felt like he was talking to himself.

It became almost impossible to remember the way she looked beside him, the way she never quite believed the stories he told but loved listening to them anyway. Seth felt like he was dating a phone—and the phone bills were costing him a fortune.

There was only one thing to be done. It would suck and be painful as hell, but Seth realized fairly quickly it was the only thing to do.

When she needed to get home for Christmas break he drove out east to pick her up. It was a long trip, even driving well above the speed limit, but the three thousand miles seemed to fly by. It even gave him time to reconsider, though he was too busy singing along with Christmas carols to bother.

Nessie might not be too enthusiastic but...he'd manage to convince her. Maybe.

When he knocked on the door to her apartment he barely had time to hope it was loud enough before there was this reddish blur and then there were familiar arms around his neck. Her legs were almost too tight around his waist, but he would worry about that later because she was in his arms and kissing her was even better than he had remembered.

"Does this mean you missed me?" he teased.

"Of course. Did you miss me?"

"So much."

"I'm glad you made it."

She sounded relieved and not just because he was safe. Had she just not expected him to come? He knew things had gone off lately but not that wrong. He found himself holding her tighter. Then: "You have anything to eat? I'm starving."

Her laugh was the most beautiful sound, so different in real life than it was over the phone. Ever so slowly they disentangled, letting her slip down him until she was on the ground once more. Then her hand found his and she was pulling him inside.

"Here." She gestured to the couch. "You must be tired. Rest and I'll get you something to eat."

"Thanks. You look exhausted," he called after her as he sat down. "What happened to not working too hard?"

"I have a lot of work to do, Seth. I have to make a good impression and—"When she sighed he got off the couch and went to the kitchen. She was holding a box of cookies and it should have been hot, but she looked so miserable and tiny just then. "You stopped reminding me to relax."

"Nessie..."

It was all he could think of to say but the second he took a step towards her she stopped him with a box of cookies to the chest.

"Start on those and I'll get you—"

"Could we just talk instead? I kind of don't have much of an appetite."

"Liar. You're always hungry."

"No."

This time when he went to her, she let him gather her to him. One hand was clutching at his shirt a little too tightly, but that really wasn't important, not when her head was tucked just under his chin.

"Talk to me," he begged.

"I've been trying to for months."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too. I just..." She burrowed against him further. "It was like you were someone else. You just...you weren't laughing as much or teasing me or making me feel...I felt like I was talking to someone else. And it sucked."

"I guess I'm pretty lousy with phones, huh?"

"Really lousy," she corrected. "I can't—I won't do this again. I have plan."

"Of course you do." Her hair was curlier than usual; when he ran his fingers through it, it seemed to take on a life of its own. He couldn't help smiling at the way danced around her. "You going to tell me what it is?"

"At dinner. There's this restaurant I really want to take you. We can plan there."

"Sounds good."

A floral aroma was coming from her hair—a new shampoo. Her skin was just as soft, though the callous on her middle finger seemed tougher. She'd been busy. When he pressed a kiss to the crook of her neck, he could taste the faintest hint of salt on her skin along with the some orange-smelling soap. Slowly the phantom in his head that did not compare was completely obliterated by the very real woman in his arms.

"This is nice," she murmured. Her fingers were running through his hair. It always puzzled him how Nessie could be so different from everyone and everything he had ever known and still feel so familiar but he didn't dwell on it. Getting reacquainted with the curves and planes of her body was much more important.

Nothing had changed about her (of course, she would have explained, I stopped developing at age seven) but he only believed what his eyes were telling him after he ran his hands over her arms and hips and legs. She was wearing slippers, but she slipped out of them so he could even touch her toes.

Nessie didn't even ask what he was doing with her feet; she just let him do what he needed to after being away from her for so long.

When he looked up, she was taking off her shirt.

Her skin was still perfectly unmarked ivory and her body curved just the way he remembered. Unfortunately, her jeans hiding everything he really wanted to see. Before he had admired how tight they were. Now he was a little disappointed at how hard they were to get off.

"I'll do mine if you do yours," she teased.

She was laughing at him, a little. He didn't mind. Some of his brothers said she wouldn't want to keep him around anymore. She had ticked off her life experience boxes. Boyfriend, sex, college. What use could she have for him anymore? His brothers never got to see her like this, the hint of a smile on her face, the love in her eyes.

Seeing her naked was just a bonus.

(A very big bonus—like extra sugary icing)

After he had convinced himself she was really here, he stood up and helped her to the kitchen counter.

"Do you remember," she murmured against his lips.

"Of course. I could never forget you in those shorts."

"I thought you'd never kiss me. And I wanted you to so badly."

"I wanted to just as badly."

"But you didn't."

"Proving you are definitely the smarter one."

As if to make it undeniable, she stopped talking first. She was just as hot as he remembered, almost impossible to survive. And her eyes still went wide, so loving and trusting he could have just stared at them for the rest of his life.

He had missed her so much. Afterwards, she ordered him to carry her to the shower, so he got to see water drenched Nessie too—and he got to have her in the shower. Somehow, it was even better than what he had once imagined.

If his stomach hadn't protested, they might have spent the rest of the night getting reacquainted with each other. But it did rumble.

"You should have said something," she scolded, pushing him off her. The bed was a little wet and he would have felt guilty, but he was enjoying himself far too much. "Get out of here. I have to get dressed."

"We could order in."

"Seth, it's our first night together in forever. I want it to be special."

"Hey, I'm good as long as it's with you."

"Get out." But her smile took the bite from the words.

"Mean."

His few clothes were in the car, but she told him not to bother. In the closet there was a suit that Alice had sent over. It fit, of course, and he looked pretty damn good in it.

Then Nessie came out of her room.

She was always beautiful. It was her default setting. He was in love with her and she was part vampire, so she always looked perfect. Seeing her naked and disheveled in the kitchen had been more than perfect. But seeing the way the green fabric clung to her body, the body that had just been pressed against him, covered in sweat and him, all he could think about was how he ___had_ to get under that dress.

"Stop it," she ordered. Fixing her hair again—he was going to die if he had to stare at her bare neck like that all night without kissing it—she offered him her arm. "Now come on."

They made their reservations, so she was happy.

"This place looks really nice," he couldn't help but notice.

She shrugged. "I've been waiting to go here all year. Dr. Leonardssen says it's his favorite."

Dr. Leo was not her supervisor but a physics genius who liked making sure she knew how to work the expensive equipment in the labs. He was also divorced and hitting on Seth's girlfriend, though Nessie didn't seem to have noticed. Since she hadn't noticed, he wasn't about to tell her that her latest paternal figure wanted to get into her pants.

After telling him way too much about Dr. Leo, she talked about her research. Seth couldn't believe he had almost forgotten what she was like when she got like this, all wide-eyed and determined. She still talked over his head, but it was nice hearing it all again. She had been so busy lately she hadn't had time to just talk like this with him. And she even paid attention when he started talking about La Push; she missed it, in her own way. It was just good being with her again, holding her hand, feeling her foot brush against his leg.

Eventually they got around to her plan. Because they both knew that the past couple of months...they hadn't been bad exactly. Saying they were bad made it sound like they had ignored each other or fought or something terrible. The truth was that talking on the phone wasn't the same as talking in person and that was that.

"So I was thinking," she said, "As much as liked the experience and the prestige of Yale, it's not like it's that much better over here. Transferring back to Seattle would be as easy as calling Daddy and—"

"Don't you like it here?"

She let herself admit the truth: "I did think about moving my classes so I had a three day weekend and then flying out to you then."

He couldn't help laughing. "Nessie, that sounds exhausting. I'd spend all our time together watching you sleep."

"Not to mention the administration wasn't that helpful. But a small donation could probably change their mind. Seth?"

"Yeah, beautiful?"

"I would—I'd prefer flying out even if it is tiring. I...I finally belong somewhere, here. I'm...I'm not just the in-between freak."

"I'm glad." And he was. The relief on her face made his heart swell. Even through the phone he had been able to pick up on it; she was happy here. Maybe just because everyone around her was laboring under the same self-imposed ambition to be as perfect as they could, maybe because she just thought she was finally allowed to be whatever she wanted to be, but she had found someplace where she felt like she made sense and he could only be happy for her. "But I still think travelling back would be exhausting."

"I don't mind."

"I do."

Her face fell. "Seth—please, it's the only way—"

"No, it's not. I appreciate that you'd do all that, I really do, Nessie, but it sounds pretty awful. It just makes more sense if I just moved here."

Her eyes grew wider. And wider. "You...you can't," she said slowly. "Jacob wouldn't let you. The pack..."

He laughed. "Despite what you think, Jacob sometimes let's me make up my own mind about things. He'll let me do this, Nessie. We've talked about it a bit. I'm one of the most controlled and the two of us can go hunting together. It should be okay. That is, of course, if you wanted me to come."

"Of course I—" It was almost like he was watching her pragmatism beat her excitement to death as he gazed at her face. She wasn't going to be able to be happy about this until her questions were answered. "You'd really leave the pack?"

"They'd still be in my head."

"And La Push? And your family?"

"As long as we don't cut them out of my life forever. I mean, I do need to see them. Just not all the time. Most kids take off from the rez; it's expected. Usually not for half-vampires but—"

"I can't," she burst out. "I...Seth..."

"Okay. I just thought it would be the simplest, but I'm sure we could think of something else."

Three day weekends wouldn't be so bad…no, they would kill him. Even for her he couldn't be satisfied with conversation for years, not when he needed to be able to touch her to know her. There had to be something else, then. Something…

"It's not—" She took a deep breath and tried to explain herself. "I do want you to come here. More than anything I want you…but I—I can't ask you to leave them all for me."

"You didn't. I'm offering."

"The way everyone always just lies down to die for me. I don't—Seth, I've never done anything to deserve it."

"I'm not trying to die for you. Dying is like the last thing I want to do, Ness. And who says you haven't done anything to deserve it? You think I'd leave La Push if being around you wasn't the best thing that had ever happened to me?"

"I'm not worth it."

"You're pretty dumb for a genius, you know."

That got a tiny smile. "I'm taking too much from you."

"It's not like I would never see my family again. I can't get rid of the pack, even if I tried. And La Push is just a town. It's not...the stuff that matters would come with me."

She kept chewing her lip. He waited. Years of being friends with Edward and his ability to stare at Bella for hours had made Seth patient. He waited now for Nessie to decide.

"We could visit them all the time..." she began.

"We could."

"And if you got homesick we would have the option of going back. It's not like we couldn't change our minds."

"Yeah."

"I still don't...what can I possibly give you that can compare?"

"I happen to think I'm getting the better deal."

She shook her head, but she didn't seem upset anymore. In fact, she started looking happy. Very happy. She started looking so happy she looked like she was glowing—and really, that was all he wanted.

"I could work in Seattle for a couple of years after I graduate. Maybe even in Forks for a little while, so if Leah had kids you could be around them."

"Sounds good."

"I mean, we'd have to work out the details when the time came, but that—that could work." She grinned. "It could really work. So...you'd move here then, after Christmas?"

"If it's okay."

"Yeah." She giggled. "Yeah. Okay. You should be able to find a job easily."

"And someplace to live."

"You'll move all the way out here but you won't move in with me?"

He had expected her to refuse on some principal he didn't understand.

"Are you inviting me to move in?"

"If it's okay."

Now they were both grinning in a way that would have made Goofy jealous.

"Sounds nice."

"We could stay in my place, if you wanted. But there are a lot of decent places for cheap near the hospitals near campus. If you wanted we could find a place of our own. Maybe even pick it out ourselves?"

"I'd like that."

She burst out laughing. "I can't believe this. You know, Seth, all this sounds like you came up with a plan. A really good plan."

"One of these days I'm going to be offended by how surprised you sound all the time."

It made her laugh, so it was worth it.

Then his super old-fashioned, easily embarrassed girlfriend stood up from her chair in the middle of Dr. Leo's favorite restaurant, one of the nicest, most expensive places in the city and sat down on his lap and kissed him so deeply Seth forgot everything except how much he needed to get that green dress off her.

Apparently, she really liked it when he thought ahead.

They were brought to by the sound of the waiter clearing his throat rather impatiently. Nessie didn't seem to hear, just smiled down at him. He couldn't resist.

Seth grabbed her hand and announced to the room at large, "She said yes!"

There were happy murmurings and scattered applause and the waiter backed off a bit. Nessie ordered them champagne to celebrate their fake-engagement and they got to talking with the couple at the table beside them who had been married twenty-six years. They gave plenty of advice and got Nessie laughing and it was only with some reluctance that they parted at the end of the night.

"Care to explain why we juts lied to those nice people?" They strolled through the city arm in arm, exploring. She didn't sound mad though, just amused.

"We didn't lie. We translated." It was an important distinction. "Happy news should be shared. Did you mind?"

She thought about it only for a second. "No. I liked talking to them. I think you might be right about happy news. We should do more investigating."

"Later," he said, just in case the night turned into a giant experiment. Tomorrow. Tonight was for enjoying being together. And sketching themselves a dream world that was exciting and terrifying all at once.

Finally he caught her yawning. "We should go back to your place," he said. "We have a lot of driving to do tomorrow."

"I'm not that tired," she promised.

"Oh?"

"I have plans for you tonight."

"What kind of plans?"

She didn't even blush, just gave him this look that promised good things for good boys.

"Plans you better not be too overfed to implement. Now come on."

So it turned out Nessie had missed him. Missed him a lot.

He felt wholly unworthy of the love she managed to put in every action, every word, not that it stopped him from pulling her closer, holding her tighter, accepting everything she gave. It was enough that she wanted him and he wanted her. They might occasionally get confused about everything else, but he figured as long as that part stayed okay they would manage.

"I knew you wanted to have sex," Nessie complained at one point. He knew she'd like being on top.

"Of course I wanted to." He rolled his eyes. "But we're celebrating the fact you want to now."

"I think we might also be celebrating the benefits of twenty-four chromosomes," she noted drily.

"Let's celebrate that, too, then. Tonight I feel like celebrating."

He threw open his arms to the world, pleased when she crawled into them.

"We do have a lot to celebrate," she said as she nuzzled his neck.

"We do," he agreed.

"I can't wait until you come here. We can pick out paint colors and I'll put tape on what you're not supposed to get dirty and then we can do the actual work and then we can find matching curtains and matching furniture and—"

"As long as you get a bed like this one."

"You can sleep anywhere."

"Yes, but I'd rather sleep with you. And you're picky."

"You're not allowed to tease me while we're celebrating."

"Sorry. I thought we had stopped celebrating."

The light was coming through the blinds. They had a long drive ahead of them; they should get up soon. Where had all the time gone? Who cared?

"I suppose we did. We should get going. I want to stop by the school before we leave, if you don't mind?"

It was nice getting a tour of the campus. The buildings were cool looking and the people seemed nice enough, if really busy, and Nessie was absolutely gorgeous this morning, dressed up to be a respectable looking academic (well, that skirt was too tight to be professional, even if it was down to her knees but he didn't complain). Seth was pretty sure he had never heard her giggle quite so much. If she didn't mind, he certainly didn't. She was something else when she was silly-happy.

"We're almost done," she promised.

"It's not like I'm in a rush to get back into the car. Can we just run back?"

"Three thousand miles might kill even us. Besides, I remember one of us complaining about being tired this morning."

"My girlfriend's insatiable," he said as he grabbed her around the waist. She squealed, but went silently quickly enough when he brought his mouth to hers. There weren't that many people around right now—even people at Yale apparently went home for Christmas. What smart geniuses.

"You know—" and he was trying to listen except one of her hands was doing not very public sanctioned things "—no one really comes to this building, except for me and Dr. Leonardssen."

And because her hand was very distracting all he did was laugh and press her into the wall.

Nessie was right—no one came to the building except her and Dr. Leo.

So when he heard footsteps two minutes later, he could put a name to the sound. However much he didn't want to.

"Someone's coming." He was whining, but she didn't notice. She did start almost choking, which made him more nervous than he would ever admit to her. It wasn't a matter of trusting her—vampires had very sharp teeth. There were a lot of things that could go wrong.

Nessie cursed (badly, but still) as she stood up. "How do I look?"

"Edible."

"Stop it." But she was still too happy to be angry with him. "Do up your pants. And stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're picturing me naked."

"Can I still do it as long as you can't tell?"

"Well...I suppose. Oh! That's definitely Dr. Leonardssen. I did want you to meet him, so I guess this is a good thing."

Still, when the other genius came in, Nessie pouted just a little bit when she introduced them. And how hot was the way she beamed when she said boyfriend? It made up for Dr. Leo's barely concealed scowl.

The old man wasn't the most sociable of people, more concerned with whatever project Nessie was helping him with than anything, though he was pretty good at calling Seth an idiot in however many languages it was that he knew. Nessie looked a little puzzled at one point, but fortunately hanging around the pack hadn't made her anymore aware. She was too adorable.

There was a large part of Seth that kind of wanted to hit the man and an even bigger part that just wanted to kiss Nessie in front of him, but in the end he felt sorry for Dr. Leo who didn't have Nessie holding his hand just then, who would never know what she looked like when she was exhausted but content and laughing and scheming in the way she couldn't seem to stop. So he said the man's work sounded awesome (it did) and watched the way she lit up having someone she could talk to who understood this stuff.

Of course, when Nessie turned around and Dr. Leo glanced at her ass, Seth couldn't help nodding in agreement—she had a great ass. This was an undisputable scientific fact. The older man looked like he was going to have a heart attack then settled for turning an interesting shade of purple.

In his garbled English, Dr. Leo excused himself, blushing the whole way.

Nessie didn't even seem to care, just waited until he was out of earshot before giving Seth that come hither look she was really far too good at giving.

"You can go back to looking like you're picturing me naked," she instructed.

"Thank you kindly."

"Shut up." She giggled, letting him wrap his arms around her. They held the kiss for a long time, enjoying each other and being together and all the things they had silently promised each other about the future. And the terror was fading the more he kissed her. When deciding that moving was the only thing to do, he had been nervous. Hell, telling Jacob what he was thinking had been downright terrifying (Jacob had sighed, then smiled, then told Seth that if anyone hurt Nessie, ever, Seth was going to have his intestines pulled out through his nose, then Jake hugged him and wished him good luck because his Alpha was the best). But now that he was here, now that they were really going to do this, all he could think was that it was going to be totally awesome.

"So what did you think of him?"

"He's got good taste."

His hands were creeping up her stomach when she stilled. It was a pretty obvious sign, so he stopped. "You okay, Nessie?"

"What did...you meant...he doesn't..." She studied his face for a second, then realized: "Oh. Really?"

Crap. He probably shouldn't have said anything because now she looked upset. "It's hard not to develop a crush on you. I should know. Be nice to the poor guy—if you didn't notice, he's clearly trying to keep it professional."

"Then he probably should stop telling me about his divorce." Before Seth could properly respond, she had grabbed his arm. "Come on. This does change something."

"What?"

But he was ignored by the bronze haired goddess tugging him out of the lab. Pulling keys from her pocket, she brought them to a nearby room.

"Where are we?"

"Welcome to Dr. Leonardssen's office," she said as the door opened. "What do you think?"

"It's an office. Do I care?"

She was leaning on the desk, leaning back, presenting herself to him. How those clothes were comfortable for a billion hour car ride Seth didn't know, but she insisted it was fine and reminded him she had grown up dressed by Alice. And if she wanted to wear a sinfully tight pencil skirt and a blouse that didn't quite button up all the way with stockings and heels that just screamed sex, then he wasn't going to complain.

"You're doing it again," she pointed out.

"Doing what?"

"Picturing me naked."

"I wasn't supposed to?"

Her evil smirk was too adorable. She stepped between his legs, titling his face down so she could kiss him properly. Sometimes she felt too tiny, but he would never mistake that for thinking she was fragile. Nessie was tougher than most of the werewolves he knew. And she did it wearing designer shirts.

"I didn't realize that the professor had ulterior motives for bringing back here after classes. I suppose I should have," she purred. "He was always so concerned with expanding my horizons."

"And how did he go about doing that?"

"Well...he was very firm about not wasting his time on wrong answers."

"I can't see you ever giving the wrong answer."

"I do. Sometimes. But then he brings me to his office and helps me improve."

And his mouth was going a little dry at the way her eyes were sparkling.

"How does he do that?"

"First, he tells me to put my hands on his desk."

She demonstrated, turning around and placing her hands in the middle of the desk, the material of her ridiculously tight skirt getting even tighter across the curve of her ass as she half-leaned over the desk. He couldn't resist (which was probably the point) running a hand down her back before squeezing the delightfully round flesh. He asked, "Then what?"

"Then he tells me I have to be punished for being such a know-it-all." For not deserving everything that was showered on her.

"And how would he do that?"

"He tells me I'm not allowed to move. Then he lifts up my skirt." She went breathless from anticipation. He could hear her heart hammering—real life was so much better than the phone. Placing a hand over her wrist (her pulse was racing just under his finger tips) he slowly tugged her skirt up.

"Like this?"

"Yes," she whispered.

She wasn't the only one getting excited—she hadn't bothered with panties this morning. The pale flesh was too tempting not to touch. He traced the garters she wore, watching her tremble, then parted her legs just a little bit so that the beautiful smell coming from her could spread through the air more easily.

"Stop squirming," he said, undoing the garters, pushing them up so she was bare from mid-thigh, where her stocking reached, all the way up that way up past her delicious rear. Then he let his hands roam, careful to keep away from where he wanted to touch most.

"That's what the good doctor tells me," she whimpered. "Right before..." Her nerve didn't fail her. They had come this far, hadn't they? "He says I've made too many mistakes. He says he needs to teach me a lesson. I need to be spanked."

And even though he had a pretty good idea of what she wanted, Nessie added, "Please?"

"How many times?"

"Thirty. One for each of the inner transitional elements."

"And he makes you count them out loud?"

She gave a little moan that he took as a yes.

Nessie was a very conscientious counter. After years of being careful with everyone, it was strange not having to worry if he put a little bit more strength in the movement than he had planned. In fact, the harder he went the louder she panted. He was all too aware of her steadily spreading legs, the way she'd raise herself to meet each blow. Her white skin turned pink quickly, creating patterns on her skin and he was wolf enough to feel a sense of satisfaction at how she was so obviously his.

"Thirty," she pouted when it was time to stop.

Her skin was hot to the touch—probably hotter than he was right then—as he gently ran his hands over her. She quivered, arched into him, shook when he ran a finger between those adorable little cheeks.

"Please, touch me."

"I am touching you."

When he squeezed, she squealed, her skin raw and sensitive. The smell was so intoxicating he almost said screw the game and just took her right then.

"Touch me."

"What happened to the girl on the phone? The one with the filthy mouth? The one who told me what a sweet cunt she had?"

The flush of her skin was beautiful. He couldn't resist leaning forward, catching the bright red ear in his teeth, playfully tugging as she tried to shift his hands to where she wanted them.

"Seth..."

"Is that what you called Dr. Leo?"

"Please, I need you to touch me."

"Here?" He kissed the small of her back, kissed the freshly marked skin that was so warm under his hands.

"Touch my pussy."

"Say please."

"Please."

"All together now."

"Touch my pussy, please."

"Why didn't you just say so?"

She growled at him so he gave her one last smack between the thighs which had her moaning, "Be nice."

The inside of her thighs were already drenched and she felt like an inferno, soaked and needy.

"Yes, please, thank you," she murmured as he brushed his fingers against her. He was careful to keep the touches lights since she seemed so determined to go as fast as possible. She wanted more, but he liked watching her work for it. Nobody on the planet seemed to work as hard as Nessie.

"This isn't fair," she gasped.

"I thought you were being punished, Nessie. It's not supposed to be fair."

He leaned over her, reaching so she had his fingers against her lips, the other hand still rubbing her gently. She sucked a finger into her mouth. His throbbing cock appreciated the reminder, but he gently pulled his finger away. She kissed his palm, his wrist...there was a reason she lingered there, hot breath ticking his skin.

"Go ahead."

She didn't heed to be told twice. Her teeth were sharp; the bite was clean.

The smell of blood mingled with the smell of her sex. He suspected it was the smell that did it for her, because she had barely tasted the blood before she started shaking violently. Her grip on his arm was so tight he could keep her up, as his fingers didn't stop their relentless assault. Half moon markings ended up decorating his skin as her fingers dug in as she rode out the orgasm. Breathing came before blood, it seemed, because she stopped sucking on his wrist in order to lean back and let out the most perfect sort of growl.

When she finished, she slowly released his wrist. Then she rested against the desk, red ass up and her legs wide apart. Aside from the tiny bit mark, his wrist looked as good as new—which was good, because his wrist was the least of his concerns.

"You okay?" he asked, tugging her upright so her bottom was tight against his thighs, making her hiss; her nails dug into his thighs, holding him to her. She rubbed back, not helping his dick forget what it really wanted to be doing.

"So that's what you and Dr. Leo do, huh?"

She leaned back against him; he loved the feel of her weight against him, loved the feel of her hair against him, just loved her. Period.

"I think seeing me dressed this way almost gave him a heart attack. I think having me come in here and ask him to punish me would really kill him."

"Now you know what to do if he ever gets out of line."

She pulled away, tugging her skirt back down. Boo.

But she swatted away his hands and got the skirt in place. "You know, Seth, we haven't discussed your punishment yet."

"My—"

"You didn't call."

"Yes, but—"

"Now take off your clothes."

"You haven't even locked the door."

She was going around to the other side of the desk, searching around in the drawers for something. Nessie was not impressed. "You're a werewolf—you have no shame. Take off your clothes."

"On behalf of my tribe, I'm offended." He still took off his clothes because…well, she was right. He really didn't care who saw him naked. And he was hoping she found whatever it was she was looking for.

"And sit down."

The chair looked solid enough to handle his weight, despite looking like it was centuries old. Which, Seth supposed, was a good thing because the ancient piece of furniture didn't have wheels.

"Here we go." She was beaming as she looked at him; it wasn't just because she had popped in some sort of mint candy (though he was grateful she was trying cover the blood).

"How come you know where he keeps his spare tie?"

"Because I'm a genius. And I spend all my time in this office. I thought he just…he doesn't matter. You should have called more."

"Nessie—"

"Shh..." Her finger was against his lips, barely touching him. He nipped at the digit, made her laugh, before she let him take it into his mouth, her fingers in his hair, her fantasies in his head. If this was how she wanted to get back at every old man who had told her what to do and then not been as infallible as she expected, then Seth would suffer through somehow. Probably by focusing on how hot she would look getting fucked on that desk.

"Close your eyes," she ordered. He dutifully listened; he let her wrap her professor's tie around his eyes until he couldn't see a thing. Maybe he could have, if he had opened his eyes, but it was a point of honour. Super powers—what did he need his sight for? He knew her well enough that he didn't have to see her.

"This is almost like the phone," he pointed out.

"And you seem to be enjoying it." Well, over the phone she hadn't been able to see that, nor rest her hand against him, applying just the tiniest hint of pressure. "We could have done more of this if you had called."

The hand disappeared. Her voice was a little further off; she had taken a step back so she was leaning against the desk again. Her voice wasn't nearly as light as she was trying to make it (there was a promise in there).

"And I'm sorry."

"Not good enough. Hush now. Listen."

Hands brushed against fabric, so slowly she almost wasn't making any noise. She was moving upwards, over the curves of her hip, up to her breasts, cupping them lightly, running her hands over the round flesh. Then he heard her nails tap plastic as she undid the top button of her blouse, followed by the next two.

"What about me did you miss?" she asked as she pulled her shirt from her skirt.

"Everything."

"Be more specific."

"I missed...that look on your face when you're planning something. I don't even know how to describe it, I just...I missed seeing that. And the way your hair frames your face and how your eyes close when you laugh and...everything, Nessie. The way you snore sometimes. The way you get quiet around strangers. The way you stick out your chest when you're mad."

"I do not."

"You do. It's adorable. And I missed seeing how hot when you're taking off your clothes."

He couldn't remember how many buttons the blouse had, but however many it was, Nessie had finished because he could hear the fabric being pulled apart. She was shrugging her shirt off. Her heels clicked against the floor as she walked towards him, letting the shirt trail against his skin.

Seth couldn't help it—she was right there. His arm snaked out, caught her waist, tried to tug her closer. Her hair brushed against his face as she laughed, swatting at his hand and pulling away.

"Just for that..."

Her shirt was completely off now. Seth didn't need to figure that out because she had used it to tie his offending arm to the chair. Lightly, so loosely he could probably get out without thought, but that wasn't the point. The point was that she was now running her hands up his arm and over his shoulder and back again.

"I missed the veins in your arm." She giggled. "How dumb does that sound? But I did. I love…just...it's so fascinating the way they stick out."

Her hair was against his shoulder as she surveyed him. Then she moved around him, nuzzling his neck, chest to his back as she leaned behind him. It wasn't hard to picture the way she would be bent over, ass in the air. He groaned when she ran her hands down his chest, then raked her nails back up.

Her teeth were pressed against her shoulder. She wanted to...but she didn't. She stepped back instead, leaving him there. His other hand almost went looking, but she was behind him and there was no way he could reach.

Instead, he had listen at the sound of metal detaching, as her bra slipped down her arms, as she stepped back towards him. She stayed out of reach, prancing around Dr. Leo's office, placing her clothing carefully on the desk.

"Come here," he begged. She listened, standing between his legs, hands on his thighs, teasingly bringing her lips close enough so he could feel her breath on his face but not close enough to touch. "Mean."

"You didn't ask."

"Can I kiss you?"

"You should have called."

Then he heard the sound of a zipper being undone. The pressure in his cock was unbearable, but it wasn't jeans doing that. It was the thought of Nessie slowly tugging her skirt down her legs. He could hear her stepping out of it, placing it on the desk, pulling herself on top of the desk too (she hissed a little; even vampire healing couldn't quite negate werewolf strength that quickly).

"Is this why you didn't call?" she asked. "Because you can't smell me over the phone?"

"That' s not fair, Nessie." She knew what the scent of her did to him.

"Life's not fair. It took me a long time to learn that one, actually, and every now and then I forget because everything in my life is almost more than fair and...I'm shutting up now."

"Don't. I like it when you ramble."

"I have more important things to do."

One of her heels was digging into the wood. And she was becoming cruel. He could hear flesh against flesh, hear her fingers sinking into her wetness, hear the way her breath was uneven, hear the way her heart was pounding. Under everything was the smell of her, calling him, telling him he had to be over there right that second. Life was meaningless unless he got over there just then, instead of just sitting still listening to her get herself off.

"This is why I hated the phone," he pouted. "I could hear you and I couldn't do anything about it."

She laughed, but she was slipping off the desk. It was overwhelming now, demanding he help her, sink into her, fuck her until they were too tired to do anything but curl up together covered in each other.

The pressure against his lips was unexpected and it almost made him jump. Almost. He was too busy greedily sucking her fingers into his mouth. She tasted even better in the dark, it seemed, where there was nothing to distract from the taste that was distinctly her. She sat down on his lap so fucking close, nuzzling his neck again.

"Please let me touch you."

"Gently."

So he listened, ran his hand up her bare back until he could thread his fingers through that thick hairs of her and pull her so her mouth was finally against him. The mint had helped a little, though he didn't care about the faint metallic taste because he could still taste her. He had forced her body against him more solidly, her too soft breasts pressed against his chest. Her nipples were pebbled against him and then she was so hot and wet against his dick it really wasn't fair.

Maybe she got that because her hands were reaching between them. Just feeling her hands on him was almost enough to send him over the edge (poor Dr. Leo) but she didn't hold him long. Just long enough to guide him into her.

And she was still too hot for words, bouncing on his lap, her nails again decorating his skin as she gave up every little pretence she had ever concocted so she would feel worthy and instead just was.

She was guiding his hand over her body, where the thinnest layer of sweat was starting to form (he had that effect on people) down to the heat between her legs. If his thumb moved slowly it was because he couldn't see—and he wanted to torture her a bit. But since he wasn't going to be able to take it, not when she was bombarding him with everything he had missed the past couple of months, all the ways she had passed the time missing him, he focused what little attention he had left on touching her clit until she was clamping down around him. He really couldn't deny her, so he came when instructed, emptying into her as she panted above him.

"Missed you, missed you," she murmured as she came, legs still too tight. He didn't mind. Didn't mind at all as long as he got to stay like this, with her weight against his chest, her body over his.

Her hands were shaking a little, but she pushed the blindfold off. Her face was flushed but as always she was more beautiful than he could imagine.

"I missed seeing how happy you can look," he murmured between kisses. "I could remember and I could imagine, but neither was good enough. I needed to be able to know you were really happy."

"I love you." It was all she said. It was all he needed to hear.

"We should get going," she remembered suddenly, climbing off him and setting about getting dressed with her usual efficiency. "We do have a long drive and Dr. Leonardssen could come back."

"You don't want to have sex on his desk first?"

"We can do that after Christmas." She was blushing and adorable, so he quickly undid her shirt and crept up behind her. She was giggling and kissing him (and sitting up on that desk, legs spread). "We have time."

Forever, in fact. So poor Dr. Leo's desk was spared. Mostly.

Then the two of them spent the next week discovering all kinds of things you could do in a minivan when you had twenty-four chromosomes.

The fact that Jacob was okay enough to let them stop off at his house to take a shower before they drove to the Cullens meant basically the world to Seth (and probably Nessie, if they way she just wouldn't stop hugging Jacob was any indication).

"Leah's not talking to me," Jacob said to Seth as Nessie cleaned herself up in the other room.

"She's not talking to me either. I'm sorry." But Seth wasn't worried about his sister. Leah always came through. She would be happy for him; she was just missing him already.

Jacob laughed. "I'm not. I think I had two happy thoughts in a row the other day."

"Jake..."

"She'll get over it. She forgave me for having a crush on Bella—she'll forgive you for being in love with her daughter." Jacob's lips twitched. "Plus, she doesn't have a choice. Your mother has decided we're going to be happy for you."

"Seriously?"

"Oh yeah. Dad made the mistake of not liking the Cold Ones in front of her the other day and—I think it's safe to say your mother approves."

"Cool." The two men glanced at each other. "How did she do that?"

"She's Nessie." Jacob continued, "Besides, I figure if you can get Edward to be okay with this, then she can get your mom on board."

"I guess. Hey, Jake? Thanks."

"I'm still not happy about it," his Alpha said honestly. "I could use you around here and I wouldn't say no to keeping her here, either. But...I hope the two of you don't screw it up."

"Aw. You wanna give me a hug, too?"

Actually, Jacob did hug him. Told him to behave, too, and made him promise to visit because Jacob was not dealing with an angry Leah all by himself.

Edward avoided threatening them, just asked what sort of place they wanted to get. Seth let Nessie deal with that.

And then everything sort of clicked into place.

The new year saw their apartment materialize, someplace close to his work and her school; it wasn't as nice as she expected but she never complained. She even seemed to delight in having to fix up the place on a budget (Nessie liked numbers too; he had seen that coming). The work took twice as long because she insisted on being taught as they went and most of what he knew was second hand from his brothers and he wasn't very good at it himself. Still, they managed. And Nessie covered in paint turned out to be the hottest thing ever.

They still had moments where they thought the other was dead wrong, but she was good at compromising and he was good at realizing when backing down was worth more than being right. And they never stopped enjoying just listening to one another and that probably helped.

After she got her first doctorate, they lived in La Push for a couple of years, so he could be near his family. Her family took them on vacation with them all the time or showed up whenever they missed her (it was a lot). Bella never quite forgave Seth for not being Jacob, he thought, but they were still friends and Edward was awesome enough for ten people.

Eventually, Nessie started working all over the planet. He'd join her when it was allowed and they'd come home, eventually. When changing the world got to be too much for her he'd hold her when she'd cry in the darkness and promise to protect her from the nightmares. Then he'd make her take a day off to actually just hang out with the people she was trying to save (being a nurse meant he actually got to know her patients better than she usually did). She would thank him and curl up in his arms and start talking again, dreaming bigger than before.

And when he found it hard to remember the stories she somehow always just remembered that she had to return to Seattle right then and they would go home once more. It was rather unstable and always chaotic and he loved every second of it. She was like no one he had ever met in his life, but somehow she seemed to make perfect sense.

They were at his mother's house one day. He was catching up with Jacob and the guys in the back while she was talking to Charlie Swan and they were both enjoying a well-deserved break.

"I don't know how you've managed to survive her," Jacob said. "But I'm impressed. I always thought she'd chew you up and spit you up."

Seth decided to take that as a compliment.

"I'd be more worried about myself, if I were you," he warned Jacob.

"What's that mean?"

"My mother and Nessie have gotten to talking," Seth said. They were two of the three women he loved most in the world, but they still scared him with how impressive they were. He was glad they seemed to get along. "And they both agree that you, Jacob Black, and how you monopolize her time are the reason Leah hasn't found a guy and started producing children that she would of course untraditionally give the Clearwater family name. Thus, you, Jacob, are standing between Nessie and my mother being happy."

There was no need to clarify that Sue Clearwater and Nessie Cullen both had a tendency to amputate anything that annoyed them without anesthetics.

Jacob's face went pale. "What did you tell them?"

"What could I say? I had to agree you had kind of always been territorial."

That was for ordering Seth not to touch his girlfriend, it was for breaking his jaw and all the other injuries but most of all it was for not warning Seth that Nessie had grown up into this beautiful, wonderful woman when Seth wasn't looking. Maybe if he had been warned...he probably still would have been a dork. It had worked out for him, in the end.

That's why he let Jacob jump to his feet when Leah appeared.

"We need to go," said the leader of La Push.

"But I just got here."

"Just move, Leah. Please."

It was the please that swayed her, because Jacob didn't usually use manners around Leah. "Fine. We can talk about the budget. I am not happy..."

"Where did Jacob go?" Nessie asked a couple of minutes later when she came outside. "He's going to miss the hors d'oeuvres."

"Business," Seth lied for his Alpha cheerfully.

"Typical."

Then Nessie sighed and sat down on his lap as he reached around her for the food.

"Your mother has claimed the week of your birthday, so we'll meet up with Esme and Carlisle right after for a few days before I have to start work with Dr. Martinez. I'm still talking to the minister, but it doesn't look like they'll let you work in Indonesia. Dr. Martinez has some volunteer work he can get you, but I thought you would prefer to work in the orphanage for a while."

"Sounds fun."

"Good. Alice and Jasper have promised to visit us while we're there, so hopefully she'll get the kids new clothes, too. If I'm not asked to stay on Rosalie and Emmet want us to visit for a few weeks after, but even if something does come up, we'll be home in time for Claire's first day of high school, no problem."

"Okay."

"Seth? Were you even listening?"

Her smile was glowing, so he figured he wasn't in trouble; when he kissed her he just enjoyed the way she still melted into him.

"Mostly. You'll fill me in on the important stuff when it comes up. We're home for now. Let's just...deep breaths."

She laughed and rested her head on his shoulder.

"How come you're always right?"

"I think it comes from hanging around you for so long."

* * *

The End


End file.
